


HOW CAN I SAY

by UwuSunshineMinho



Series: I NEED SOMEBODY [1]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-06 17:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17349644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UwuSunshineMinho/pseuds/UwuSunshineMinho
Summary: "I hate me now. I hate myself for not having butterflies. From some point, My heart doesn't react anymore. Hate me now. I wish your feelings would cool down. Those eyes that look at me. I wish there was no love in them. Baby, you tell me. You love me, so brightly. I want to tell you, me too (no no no). When you look at me. So warmly. Do you know that it's already over? (sorry)""How can I say it? When you're still so happy. Whenever you're with me? How can I say it? I can't bear to tell you. That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say."1 year after Jina and Jae, got together, everything was going fine, until Jae tells Jina that he doesn't love her anymore."What did I do wrong?!" - Park Jina"Nothing, that's the point." - Park JaeINTRO:HOW CAN I SAY: DAY6OUTRO:I'LL REMEMBER: DAY6





	1. 1: I hate me now. I hate myself for not having butterflies

 

 

## 

***PIC OF YURI***

***PIC OF WENDY**

***PIC OF ALEC***

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**1 year later:**

**"2nd year of college, means 2nd year of hell!" Yuri screamed as she carried heavy books, and I roll my eyes and laugh, I see her hair falling in her face, and I saw her struggling to hold those 5 books, and I kinda felt bad because, me, Nevaeh, Nathalie, and Evelyn only had like 2-3 books. Me, and the rest of the girls, are meeting up with Wendy and Alec, so we can go out to drink or I don't know, have a girls night out, while the guys have a guys night out**

**"Give us some of the books." Nathalie told Yuri and she shook her head**

**"Nah, I got it." She says and then as of on cue, she drops the books "Dammit!" She yelled**

**"You got it, huh?" Nevaeh asked her in a mocking tone and Yuri looked over at her with a glare on her face**

**"I will hit you." She told Nevaeh and I pulled a shock face... Yuri has gotten really confident with Nevaeh lately, and I feel like Nevaeh will bitch slap her one of these days, and it's gonna be hilarious - I mean it's not that I don't like Yuri, she just says the wrong things at the wrong time**

**"I'll hit you back, but harder." Nevaeh told her and I laugh, and Nathalie, and Evelyn picked up a couple of her books, and leaving her with like 2 books**

**"You okay now?" I ask and she rolled her eyes and we continued walking to our dorm, hopefully, we'll make it there, without looking like we just died, before we got there.**

**\-------------**

**Me, Nathalie, Evelyn, Nevaeh, Alec, and Wendy, are walking through campus, as we see little baby freshmen college kids, looking around completely lost out of their minds**

**"Ugh, I'm so glad, I don't have to work at that damn coffee shop anymore!" I exclaim and the girls roll their eyes and smile, but I'm still gonna have to work at a coffee shop here, since it's the only job close to campus**

**"Do you make good coffee?" Alec asked me and I look at her**

**"Uh well... kinda." I say to her and she rolls her eyes**

**"You're gonna have to make us a Frappe." Wendy says and I roll my eyes**

**"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." I say to her, and I grab my hair tie from my wrist, and I pull my hair up into a ponytail, since it's in my face, and I then stop as I see a way to familiar face... Jamie**

**"What is it, Ji?" Nevaeh asked me and I sigh and I pointed "Oh hell no." Nevaeh says and I sigh, and I see her look over at us and she smiled**

**"Hey guys." She said with happiness in her voice... oh I know that's fake happiness, after where we left off, last year, there is no way she would be happy to see me**

**"Hey, Jamie." Nathalie says with the grittiness in her voice**

**"Hey, how are you guys doing?" She asked and I sighed "I mean, it's been a year an a ½ since we last saw each other, when Jae basically dumped me." Jamie added, well that got awkward... I clear my throat**

**"Well, it's great to see you, you look great." I say to her, and she smiles**

**"Thanks." She says to me... okay, is like actually being nice to me? "Oh, crap, I gotta go and do something, I'll catch up with you guys later." She says and we say goodbye to her and she runs off, and I look over at the girls**

**"What the hell was that?" I ask and they shrug... I hope to god, that I never have to see her again, because I know that she is gonna cause the same problems she caused last year.**

**\------------------**

**"So guess, what happened." I say to Jae as I was wiping down some tables of inside and outside the coffee shop, and he looked at me, I really hope doesn't get like - I don't know mad**

**"What happened?" He asked**

**"We ran into Jamie." I say and he widened his eyes**

**"What?" He asked and I nod**

**"Yeah, and she was all nice, but I feel like that it's all an act, and that she might come out with her real personality, and I'm scared." I say, as I throw the towel in the sink, and Jae motioned me over to him, and I sigh, and I walk over to him, and he grabs both of my hands**

**"Look, Jamie, is the least of our problems, our problem is that, we don't have a song to sing for the welcoming gig at the college." He told me and I widen my eyes**

**"Really?" I ask and he nods**

**"Can you write the song for us?" He asked and I sigh and chuckle**

**"I can write a kick ass song for you, if you buy me McDonald's." I say and he groans and he then nods**

**"Fine." He told me and I smile, and I kiss him for a few seconds, but then I realize he was frowning**

**"What's wrong?" I ask him and he shook his head**

**"Nothing. It's just - I don't feel good." He says and I furrow my eyebrows**

**"Are you sick?" I ask him as I felt his forehead, and it felt pretty warm, but not sickly warm... only because it's freaking hot today "Your head is warm, but I don't think you're sick, I think you're just getting overheated. I can make you some boba, if you want." I say to him and he sighed and shook his head**

**"Nah, I'm good." He told me and I nod, kinda being unconvinced, but I let it go**

**\---------------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**I was with Jae, Yuri, Brian, and Jina, and I look over to see Jina, writing in her notebook... probably writing for the opening gig, but me, Yuri, and Brian, really need to talk to Jae,**

**"Jae, we need to talk to you." I say to him in a whisper, and he nods and we get up and we walked outside of the room**

**"So, what's up?" He asked us and I sigh, and I look over at Brian and Yuri and they nod**

**"What's going on with you and Jina?" I asked him and he looked confused**

**"What?" He asked me and I roll my eyes**

**"She told me that you were frowning after she kissed you." I say to him and he sighs**

**"I hate myself." He says and I got confused, what the hell does he mean, he hates himself?**

**"What do you mean by that?" I ask him, and he sighs**

**"I feel no butterflies, when I'm with her anymore, it's just, I don't think I love her anymore." He says and I raise my eyebrows in anger**

**"What?" I ask him with anger obviously in my voice and he sighs**

**"I know, it's just - I love her, but I don't." He told me and I sigh, and I lean against a wall**

**"Well, have you met anyone else?" I ask and he looks down at the ground and he nodded slightly**

**"I know, I shouldn't have met anyone else, that made me feel like this, but even though me and her have been together for a 1 ½ years it's just, I don't feel the spark anymore, like she does." He says and I sigh and I put my hands on my face out of frustration**

**"Dude, you have to tell her, cause if you don't, you're just hurting yourself and her more." Brian says to him, and I look over at him**

**"No, he can't." I say to him, and Brian and Yuri looked at me confused**

**"Why?" They both ask at the same time and I roll my eyes**

**"She has thantophobia." Me and Jae say to them, and they both looked confused**

**"What the hell, is that?" Yuri asked and I roll my eyes**

**"Thantophobia, is the phobia, of losing someone she loves, and if he tells her that he doesn't love her anymore, she will feel like her phobia will become real." I tell her and she nods**

**"But, I will have to tell her someday." Jae says and I sigh and I nod**

**"I know, but it's just I don't want to see her get hurt." I say and Brian puts his hand on my arm, and I sigh and look at him**

**"We all don't want to see her hurt." He told me and I look down at the ground, and I then see the door open, and I see Jina's confused face**

**"What are you guys doing out here? Gossiping without me?" She asked and laughs, and I look at Jae, and he had this guilty look on his face, and I sigh**

**"Nah, just planning on what to get you for Christmas." I say and she laughs and rolls her eyes**

**"Yeah, well, I finished the song, so you guys are gonna have to come and read it." She says and we nod, and we walk back inside the room, so we can read the song she wrote.**

**\-------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I've met a lot of nice people, and I've met some mean people, but it's like whatever, but I met this one girl, and her name is Adrian, and she is really nice and really cute, I bet my friends would like her**

**"So, your boyfriend is performing?" Adrian asked me, and I nodded**

**"Yep." I say to her, and we sat down on the blankets, and I look over to see the girls walk over to us and sit down**

**"Who's this Jina?" Nathalie asked me and I smile softly**

**"This is Adrian. Adrian, these are my friends, Nevaeh, Yuri, Nathalie, Evelyn, Wendy, and Alec." I say introducing them to Adrian and she smiles and waves, and I look over to not see Eunwoo "Evelyn, where's Eunwoo?" I ask her and she shrugs**

**"I think, he's with your brother and his friends." She told me and I roll my eyes**

**"Yeah, probably gonna get drunk, when the boys are done performing, go check on them." I say to her, and she nods, and Adrian looked over at us**

**"Are your boyfriends performing too?" She asked and Yuri, Nevaeh, Nathalie, and Wendy nodded**

**"Yeah, Yuri's boyfriend is Sungjin, who plays the guitar and is in the middle. Nevaeh's boyfriend is Brian who plays the bass, and he is on the right of Sungjin. My boyfriend is Jae, and he also plays the guitar, and he's on the left of Sungjin. Nathalie's boyfriend is Wonpil, who plays the keyboard and synthesizer, and he's right next to Brian. And, Wendy's boyfriend is Dowoon, who plays the drums, and he's in the back." I say to her and she nods, then I see someone sit next to me, and I look over to see Jamie, and I tense up a little**

**"Hey, guys." Jamie says and I sigh**

**"Hey, Jamie." I say and Adrian looks over confused**

**"Adrian, this Jamie, Jamie, this is Adrian." I say introducing them and Adrian smiles and waves, and I then see the boys walk up on the stage, and everyone starts clapping, and Adrian looks over at me**

**"Is that them?" She asked and I nodded**

**"Yep, that's them." I say to her, and she nods and smiled**

**"Hey, guys, we're Day6, and welcome Freshmen! It's good to see new faces, but it's also great to see familiar faces. Now, this song was written by my lovely and beautiful girlfriend, Park Jina, and it's called 'Lean On Me' hope you guys enjoy, and enjoy your first year Freshmen!" Jae yelled, and everyone clapped, and I smiled, as they started to play**

**{Brian}**

**"Why are you choosing a difficult love? I told you he wasn't the one, but you don't even know. And you're hurting over the obvious end."**

**{Jae}**

**"No matter how hard I try to approach you, I know my heart can't reach you, I know very well. But the tears in your eyes, shake me up and makes me say..."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Just forget him. Stop crying like that. Lean on me. Today (lean on me)."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"This is for the best. He hurt you. Lean on me. You can meet a good person."**

**{Jae}**

**"Your pretty face is smudged with tears, I know you can't stop right away. But lean on me even if it's just for a moment. I hope your heart will feel at rest."**

**{Brian}**

**"But the trembling in your hands are getting worse. And it makes me say..."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Just forget him. Stop crying like that. Lean on me. Today (lean on me)."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"This is for the best. He hurt you. Lean on me. You can meet a good person."**

**{Brian}**

**"I don't know who will be your next guy. But this time, don't just date anyone. When you feel like it's too hard. Maybe you can look right next to you."**

**{Dowoon}**

**"I'll lend you my shoulder."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Today (lean on me)."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Just forget him. Stop crying like that. Lean on me. Today (lean on me)."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"This is for the best. He hurt you. Lean on me. You can meet a good person."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Just forget him. Stop crying like that. Lean on me. Today (lean on me)."**

**After the last line was sang by Wonpil, everyone started cheering, and I smile, and Adrian looked over at me with just pure shock, and I laugh**

**"You wrote that?" She asked and I laugh a little and nodded, and I feel an arm go around me, and I look over and it was Jamie**

**"Yep, she writes the best songs for them. She writes a few songs for them, while Brian writes most of them, and she helps with them. She's a really good writer." Jamie says... okay, Jamie, stop kissing my ass, and Adrian nods**

**"I just can't believe, Dowoon, finally got a line." Wendy says to me, and she looks so happy, and I laugh**

**"Yeah well, your boyfriends, vocal lessons, are paying off." I say to her, and she smiles, and I see the boys walk off the stage, and I get up from my spot, and I walk over to them,**

**"There she is, the 2nd greatest songwriter." Sungjin says and I roll my eyes**

**"Stop kissing my ass. You wouldn't even have a song, if Jae didn't promise me McDonald's." I say and the boys shook their heads, and I laugh, and I then see the girls walk up to us, and the boys widened their eyes, when they saw Jamie**

**"Hey, guys." Jamie says, and the boys looked very awkward and I roll my eyes**

**"Don't worry, about her. But, guys this Adrian, Adrian, this Sungjin, Dowoon, Wonpil, Brian, and my boyfriend Jae." I say introducing them, and she smiles and waves,**

**"Good performance, as always." Yuri says and the boys nodded, and I look over to Evelyn**

**"Go make sure, Eunwoo, and the rest of the boys are alright." I say and she nods and then she walked off, and I turn back to the boys "Are you guys hungry, because there is a ton of food over there." I say and they nod, and I went over to the food stand to get some food,**

**"Well, well, well, if it isn't little miss Park Jina." I hear a voice say, and I look over to see Yoon Sooah, and I roll my eyes**

**"What the hell do you want?" I ask and she smirked**

**"Ooh, you have such confidence." She says and I roll my eyes**

**"Sooah, you should know that Eunwoo, told me what you tried to do." I say to her and she rolled her eyes**

**"Yeah, whatever." She says and I just grab some food, and I walk away from her, like hell she is going to make my 2nd year of college a living hell, like she did my Senior year, I will not let that happen.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 1 of How Can I Say!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	2. 2: From some point, my heart doesn't react anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jina starts to worry about Jae, as him and Adrian get closer.

 

 

## 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I walked inside the coffee shop, because I have a shift today, I mean I shouldn't have one, but one of the workers went home sick, and the manager called me, so I have to work her shift. I pull my hair into a ponytail, and I put my hat on, and I went behind the counter... now all I have to do is wait.**

**I see Jae and Adrian walk in, and I smile a little, but then I frown, because he's with Adrian, when he told me he was gonna be with Brian and Nevaeh all day today, did he lie to me? I walk over to them, and they turn to look at me**

**"Hey, guys, surprise to see you guys here, I mean it's a slow day today." I say and they nodded, as they barely saw anybody in the coffee shop, but then I look over at Jae, "Jae, I thought you were gonna hang out with Brian and Nevaeh, today." I say to him and he sighed**

**"Yeah, they had other plans to do, so I was basically stuck on campus alone, because you had to work, so I saw that Adrian, was also alone, so I asked her to come to the coffee shop with me." He told me and I nodded**

**"Okay, so find yourselves a table, and I'll be right over to get your order." I say to them and they went to sit down, and I went behind the counter to grab my notepad, and I walked over to the table, Adrian and Jae were at "Kay, so I know what you want Jae, but what do you want, Adrian?" I ask and she thought about it**

**"Umm, a Mocha Frappe." She says and I nod and I went over to make the coffee, and the boba tea.**

**\--------------**

**2 hours later:**

**Okay, I'm started to get kinda annoyed by these two. I know, I shouldn't be that clingy, jealous girlfriend, but I am a person that would lose her mind, if I lose someone I love, and it doesn't help when I see Jae laughing with another girl, especially when that girl is a fucking freshman! I take out my phone from my pocket, and I saw it was '2:55 P.M.' Ugh, I just want my shift to be over, but it ends at like 4:00 P.M. I see Nevaeh, and Brian walk in, and I sigh in relief**

**"Hey, Ji." Brian says, and he looks over to Jae and Adrian, and he widened his eyes, and that made me confused, and I then see him and Nevaeh walk over to him, and pull him away from, Adrian, and he pulled him outside, leaving Adrian confused... okay that was weird.**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"Are you insane?" I ask Jae, when we pulled him out of the coffee shop. This freaking idiot, laughing and smiling with another girl, when his girlfriend is right fucking there! Ugh, he's gonna make me sick.**

**"What the hell, are you talking about?" He asked and I rolled my eyes**

**"You laughing and smiling with Adrian." I say and he rolled his eyes**

**"Really? Well, she is my friend." Jae told me and I scoff, please, I really don't trust her, when Jina wasn't looking, I saw her looking at Jae, and Brian, and she was like smiling and biting her lip, and that made me, kinda want to punch her in the face.**

**"No, dude, I think she wants to be with you." Brian says and I nodded, and he smiled a little, and I widened my eyes**

**"Well, she is kinda pretty, and she does have a nice smile, and she tells me a lot of funny jokes, that make me laugh." He told me**

**"Do you even care if you hurt, Jina?" I asked him**

**"I do, it's just my heart doesn't react to her love anymore, I can't help it." He told me and I sighed "So, if you excuse me, I'm gonna go back inside, and finish talking with Adrian." He added and he walked back inside the coffee shop,**

**"I feel like, Adrian, is gonna ruin Jae and Jina's relationship." Brian told me and I nod**

**"Yeah." I say, and I put my hands on my face out of frustration... if she ruins Jae and Jina's relationship, I will be pissed!**

**\----------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I was holding Jae's hand as me, him, and Adrian were walking back to our dorm, and all I heard was, Jae and Adrian cracking jokes to each other, and I'm getting pretty annoyed, to the point, that I just want to slap Adrian across the face.**

**"Oh, my god, Jae, why the hell do you look like chicken little?" Adrian asked, and I tense up**

**"Everyone always says that." Jae says and laughs**

**"Well, you could be my chicken little, since we are such great friends and all." She says, what the hell? Umm, he's my chicken little, cause he's my boyfriend, not yours**

**"Yeah, sure." He told her, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I tried to walk forward, but I realize I was still holding onto Jae's hand, so I tried to pull myself away from his grip, but he held on tight to my hand**

**"Jina, what's wrong?" He asked and I didn't answer him, and I felt the tears roll down my face "Jina, what the hell is wrong with you?" He asked me, but I still didn't answer him,**

**"I think, she needs to go home." Adrian says and I felt myself get mad a little**

**"Yeah, I'll see you later." He told her, and she walked off, and then Jae looked over at me, "What the hell, is wrong with you?" He asked me and I just looked down at the ground, and he then let go of my hand "Whatever, let's go." He says and I felt more tears roll down my face, but I still follow him as he was walking back to the dorm**

**\---------------**

**We made it back to Jae's dorm room, and I saw Jae walk over to the fridge, to probably get a drink out, and I went and sat down on the couch, and I see him walk back over to me, and he sat down next to me, and I let out a sob, and Jae looked over at me, and then wrapped his arms around me, and I bury my face into his chest, why do i have to be such a broken mess?**

**"Are you gonna tell me, what happened?" He asked me and I sigh and I shook my head**

**"No, you'll think it's stupid. I just got jealous, that's all." I say to him, and he sighed and nodded**

**"Yeah, but don't get jealous, because I'm always gonna be yours, and I will never leave you." He told me and I smile into his chest, I realize that being jealous of Adrian, is stupid, because I know that Jae will never leave me... at least I hope he doesn't.**

**\--------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"Wait, so he doesn't love her anymore?" Sungjin asked me and Brian, as we were eating at this restaurant near the campus, and I sigh and I nodded**

**"Yeah, he said, that some point, he didn't feel any spark from her anymore." Brian says and Dowoon frowned, as he took a sip of his drink**

**"They've been friends for like 20 years, does he even care about her feelings?" Wonpil asked and I shrug**

**"I don't know." I say and I frown, and I took a bite of a fry**

**"Well, who the hell, does he even like anyway?" Alec asked and I sigh**

**"I think that new girl, Adrian." Brian says and they widened their eyes**

**"Really? A freshman?" Yuri asked and me and Brian both nod our heads**

**"Is Jae even gonna tell her?" Wendy asked and I shrug**

**"Yeah, he should... one of these days." I say and Sungjin groaned**

**"Aish! That kid, being stupid." Sungjin exclaimed and I roll my eyes**

**"You do realize he's older than you right?" Brian asked him and Sungjin rolled his eyes**

**"Whatever. He's still being really damn stupid." Sungjin says and I nodded**

**"Yeah, he shouldn't lead her on, like this. We saw how annoyed she looked, at the coffee shop, a few hours ago. I really don't think, she likes Adrian that much, hell I really don't like her either." I say**

**"I think, Jae, is being stupid." I hear Jamie's voice say and I look over at her**

**"Uh, this really isn't your conversation to be in, Jamie." I say to her and she rolled her eyes**

**"Guys, look, I know you don't trust me, because of where we left off, but I actually started to date someone else, so you guys don't have to worry about me." She says and I sigh and I nodded, "But, what he's doing is pretty damn stupid, and especially with Adrian." She says and Nathalie looks over at her**

**"How do you know Adrian?" She asked her and Jamie sighed softly**

**"She is Max's little sister. Ever since high school, she had the biggest crush on Jae, and Brian, but she was too shy to even talk to them. So, like Max and Jess, she hated Jina, because she was best friends with Jae, but what surprised me, is that she didn't hate me because she knew I was dating Jae, but that's not the point. She knows everything about Jae, and Jina's relationship, and she will make Jina's life a living hell, just like Max and Jess told her last year." Jamie explained and Evelyn put her hands on her face and groaned**

**"Yeah, when Jess and Max, found out about Jae and Jina's relationship, she came into our writing class, and literally told her, that they will make her life a living hell, and I'm surprised they waited this long." Wendy says and I sigh and I nodded**

**"So, what the hell, do we do?" I ask and Jamie sighed**

**"We have to wait it out." She says and I widened my eyes**

**"What the hell, do you mean, "Wait it out"?" I ask her**

**"I heard from Max and Jess, that Jina is kinda catching on, to what Adrian is doing." She says**

**"Well, yeah, Jina is smart, and she has a phobia, so she can spot that shit really quickly." Yuri says and I nodded**

**"Yeah, but she's too smart, Adrian was being stupid." Jamie says**

**"Shouldn't we tell, Jina or Jae?" Wonpil asked and Jamie shook her head**

**"Neither of them will believe us, that's why I said: wait it out." She says and I groan, great we have to lie, to our best friends... well this is so gonna get me killed.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 2!!!**

**So we ended the chapter with Nevaeh's P.O.V which I never do, but here ya go!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	3. 3: Hate me now. I wish your feelings would cool down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Jae gets frustrated with himself for not being in love with Jina anymore, Nevaeh tries to help her out, but Jina doesn't want to be that jealous and clingy girlfriend, and let Jae have friends as well.

 

 

## 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**1 week later:**

**Classes, are really being stressful, they're more harder than they were last year, probably because we were freshmen last year, and we are now Sophomores, while my brother is either a Junior or a Senior, I honestly can't remember at this point, all I know is that he's 2 years older than me... man I'm a really bad sister, but whatever.**

**"How's your classes going, guys?" Alec asked me and Wendy, as we were at the coffee shop, and I groan**

**"I get migraines now." Wendy says and I sighed and nodded**

**"Same here. It's just why the hell are the classes so damn stressful?" I ask and they shrug**

**"I don't know, but I'm gonna die from having too many headaches." Alec says, and I then see Jae walk in, and I smile**

**"Jae, we're kinda closed at this moment." I say to him and he groans**

**"Damn, I was hoping to have some boba." He told me and I smile**

**"I can make that work." I say and I went over to make the boba tea**

**"Jae, why do you drink so much boba, and not drink any coffee?" Wendy asked him, and he shrugged**

**"I don't know, I just like boba better." Jae told her, and Wendy looked over at me, as I was making the boba**

**"Ji, what's the real reason, why Jae, drinks boba, instead of coffee?" She asked me and I sighed**

**"Jae, is lactose intolerant, so if he has anything with milk in it, he'll get headaches, and start to throw up." I say as I put the bubbles in**

**"Ew, that's awful, but wait that means he can't have ice cream!" Alec exclaimed, and I laugh**

**"No, he gets lactose free, ice cream." I say and I put the straw in the cup, and I walk over to Jae, and I place the cup down on the table, "With extra love." I say to him and I walk off, but I knew he smiled as I walked off, and I went back from behind the counter**

**"Oh, Ji, how much do I have to pay?" Jae asked me and I sigh**

**"It's on the house, but next time, you come in here when it's closed, you'll have to pay $3.00." I tell him and he nods, and I grab a towel from the back, and I wet it a little, and I went down to some tables, and I wipe all the dirt and dust off of them**

**"Will, Nevaeh and Brian, be coming over to the restaurant with us?" I ask Wendy and Alec**

**"I don't know, those two are pretty busy." Wendy says and I furrow my eyebrows**

**"Busy doing what? Having sex?" I ask, and that made Jae choke on his boba tea**

**"Oh my god, I never want to hear that again!" Jae exclaimed and I laughed**

**"I'm just kidding." I say and I went back over to the counter, and I went to wipe them down as well, and I then hear my phone buzz, and I pull it out of my pocket, and I saw it was a text from Nevaeh, and it said 'Girl, me, Nathalie, Brian, and Yuri, need to talk to you, about Adrian. RIGHT NOW!' and I got confused, "Okay, Nevaeh, just texted me, and I need to go right now, so um Jae, when you're finished, can you lock up?" I ask and he nods, and I pass him the keys, and I take off my apron, and hat, and I walk out of the coffee shop.**

**\--------------**

**"Okay, what's so important, that I had to come right now?" I ask Nevaeh, Brian, Nathalie, and Yuri, as I reached the bench, they were sitting on**

**"We wanted to talk to you about Adrian." Brian says and I sigh**

**"Why?" I ask him**

**"Jamie, told us to wait it out, but hell no, I'm not waiting this out. So, basically, you remember how Max and Jess we're basically gonna make your life a living hell? So, Adrian, is Max's little sister, and she's basically trying to steal Jae away from you." Nevaeh says and I raise my eyebrows**

**"Really? Now, I know you guys, don't trust her, but she's just a friend of Jae's. I shouldn't be that jealous and clingy girlfriend. Jae, should have friends that are girls too, so thanks guys but you shouldn't be so overdramatic, and don't listen to stuff from Jamie." I say to them, and I walk off from them.**

**\---------------**

**Wendy's P.O.V**

**"Dude, do you realize, you're leading her on, by pretending you still love her?" Alec asked Jae, as soon as Jina left the coffee shop, and Jae looks at her confused, and that makes me hit, Alec on the arm, and she looked at me with a glare "Ow! What?" She asked me**

**"We had to pretend that we didn't know about this, you freaking idiot." I tell her and she rolled her eyes**

**"Sorry, but I couldn't hold it in, anymore." She says and I roll my eyes**

**"No, you guys deserve to know. It's just I don't know what to do." Jae says and I sigh**

**"Why don't you just tell her?" I suggest and Jae shook his head**

**"I can't. She has this phobia, and she will probably be emotionally unstable if I tell her." He says and Alec scoffs**

**"Please, you don't think, she'll be emotionally unstable, if she finds out the hard way? Oh, like, you being with Adrian or another girl." She says and I nodded**

**"I know. It's just I wish her feelings would cool down." He says and I scoff**

**"Dude, have you ever been in an actual functioning relationship? She can't control her feelings, because she loves you, goddammit!" I exclaim and Alec and Jae looked at me with shock, because I rarely ever curse**

**"Dude, when she curses, it means she's serious." Alec says to him, and I nod and he sighed**

**"I don't know what the hell to do." He says and I roll my eyes**

**"Just tell her, or we will." Alec says and he tensed up a little, and I knew he got a little scared**

**"We should uh- we should go." He says, and we nod, and me and Alec grab our coffee's while, Jae has his boba tea in his hand, and we walk out of the coffee shop, and we look over to see Jina, walking back to us 'Oh, god.' I thought**

**\---------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"I told you, that wasn't gonna work." Yuri told me and I groan, what the hell happened to her believing everything I say? I mean, me and Jina, have been friends for like ever, she used to believe everything I said, if it was serious, but I think something just snapped inside of her, I don't know why**

**"Shut it." I tell Yuri**

**"You know, what we should just let Adrian, take Jae, and have Jina, be broken." Yuri says and I threw my empty water bottle at her, and it nailed her right in the head**

**"How about we not let that happen." Nathalie says**

**"Why? I mean, that's the only way she would believe us now." Yuri says and I roll my eyes**

**"Because, it's a fucking stupid idea!" I exclaim and I put my hands on my face, "I'mma kill this bitch, watch me do it, I wouldn't even feel guilty." I say and Brian wrapped his arm around me**

**"Just calm down." He told me and I took a deep breath, but it wasn't helping, I was just too pissed at this moment. Ugh, I hate people, who hurt or try to hurt my best friends!**

**\-----------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I was walking back to the coffee shop, and I saw Jae, Wendy, and Alec, walk out of the shop, with Jae locking the door, behind him, and I saw he had his boba tea, in his other hand, and I smile**

**"Hey, guys." I say and they all look at me**

**"Well, that was quick." Alec says and I furrow my eyebrows**

**"Not really. The walk was like 15 minutes, there, and back, so I was gone for maybe like 30 minutes." I say to them and she rolled her eyes**

**"Shut up, I have a short attention span." She says and I laugh at her and I roll my eyes, and then I remember the keys that Jae had**

**"Babe, I need the keys." I say to Jae, and he nods, and he tossed me the keys, which I caught, "So, we going back to the dorm?" I ask them, and Wendy and Alec shook their heads**

**"Nah, we gotta go and meet up with our brothers." Wendy says and I nod, and I look at Jae**

**"You wanna go back to the dorm?" I ask him and he nods**

**"Yeah, I have nothing better to do." He says to me and I smile, and I nod**

**"Okay, we'll see you two later." Alec says and we both nod, and we say goodbye, and Wendy and Alec walk off, and I look at Jae**

**"You ready to go?" I ask him, and he nods, and I put my hand in his, and I feel him tense up, which kinda made me confused, cause he did the same thing, last week, when me, him, and Adrian, were walking back from the coffee shop, but I shook it off, and we started to walk back to the dorm.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 3!!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	4. 4: Those eyes that look at me, I wish there was no love in them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nevaeh tells Jae, that he only has a week to tell Jina that he's not in love with her anymore, but he feels like it would be too difficult.

 

 

## 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V  
**

**I feel like, life is getting worse, but I will not let it, take it's toll on me, as long as I have Jae, I'll be perfectly fine. I mean, I hope, I'll be perfectly fine. But, Jae has been acting weird this past two weeks, I would just shake it off, but now I'm getting worried. I just want to ask him what's wrong, but I'm scared he'll get mad at me, because I'm just assuming things.**

**"So, has Jae been treating you good?" Jimin asked as I was just shopping for some stuff, like clothes, makeup, and hair dye... but the hair dye was mostly for Jimin, because he wants to dye his hair, orange or blonde. So, we're getting both.**

**"Yeah, he has, Jimin. You don't have to worry about me, we're only like 2 years apart." I say to him and I decided I was done in the hair dye section, and I went to look for some food, because I'm fucking starving**

**"Yeah. I know, but when eomma died, she told me to watch out for you, and that's what I'm gonna do." He says and I laugh and I roll my eyes**

**"Yeah, if you think getting drunk with your friends, and my friends boyfriend, is a way of watching out for me, then you're doing a fine damn job." I say to him, as I stop the cart, as I see the chips**

**"Shut up. It's college, you're supposed to have fun once in a while, and besides it was the first week." He told me and I rolled my eyes and I held up two bags of chips, one being Cheetos, and one being Doritos Cool Ranch**

**"Which one? And don't say both." I say and he frowned, because I knew he was gonna say both**

**"Uh... Doritos." He says and I nod as I put the Doritos in the cart, and I started to roll the cart again, "Oh, Ji, make sure to get some ice cream, toothpaste, chocolate, pasta, cereal, kimchi, ramen, pizza, and chicken." Jimin told me... Oh wow, what a combination.**

**"I also need to get some Lobster." I say and Jimin looked at me with a weird look**

**"Ji, you do know you hate Lobster." He told me and I roll my eyes**

**"Not for me pabo (idiot), for Jae, since he's been begging me to get him some lobster, for the past week." I say to Jimin, and he nods, "And besides, he's been acting weird this past couple of weeks, so I hope this lobster will make him feel better." I add, and he nodded again, so me and Jimin continued to walk around looking for the last things we need to buy... I know we aren't getting much food, it's just the college provides us with food, and there is a restaurant and a few diners close to campus, so that's where we go to eat sometimes.**

**\---------------**

**I was walking back to Jae's dorm room, and I was carrying very heavy bags, and it felt like my arms were gonna fall off, man I should really learn how to drive! I mean, I'm 20 years old, without a license, and I really think it's stupid! I made it to Jae's room, and I open the door, and I literally fell to the ground, from how heavy the bags were, and I see Jae rush over to me, and he helped me up**

**"Jesus, are you okay?" He asked me with worry in his voice**

**"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just the bags are heavy." I say to him and he sighed out of relief**

**"I thought, you were like dying or something." He says, and I smile... at least I know he cares for me, unlike Jimin, who couldn't drive me back... asshole!**

**"Hey, I got you Lobster, so nearly dying is worth it." I tell him, and he smiled from ear to ear**

**"Oh my god! You're the best!" He says as he hugged the life out of me**

**"Babe, I can't breathe!" I exclaim, with ragged breathing, and he then let go, and he had a shy smile on his face**

**"Sorry." He told me and I shook my head**

**"It's okay." I say to him and I smile, but then I frown, as I still was holding the heavy bags, "Can you at least help me with the bags?" I ask him and he nods and he helped me with the bags, and he placed some on the counter, and some on the table, and I sigh as my arms start to feel at ease, cause I wasn't holding the bags anymore "Are you hungry? I can make you some food." I say as I start to pull out the food, and I put them in either the fridge or cabinets, and Jae shook his head**

**"Nah, I had food a couple hours ago." He told me and I nod, and I continued to put the food away**

**"Okay, let me know when you want some food, cause I'll be happy enough to cook it for you." I say and he nods, and I then hear my phone buzz, and I pull it out of my pocket of my shorts, and I saw it was a text from my brother and I roll my eyes 'What the hell does he want now?' I thought and I take a look at the text and it said 'Big Bro Jimin👪: Hey, little sis, I need your help with putting the hair dye in... hehe sorry, I know you're busy.' and I roll my eyes, and I turn over to Jae**

**"Hey, can you put the rest of the food away, while I go help my idiot brother with hair dye?" I ask and he laughs and nods**

**"Yeah." He told me and I smile**

**"Kay, I'll be back in a couple of hours." I say and I give him a quick kiss, and I walk out of the room, and I went to go over to help my idiot brother.**

**\--------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"So, she's not here?" I ask Jae and he nods and he then put his hands on his head, and groaned**

**"Ugh, I don't know what to do! I mean, every time I look into her eyes, there is love in them, and I kinda wish there was no love in them, because this will make it easier." He says and I roll my eyes**

**"Well, wait until she says: I love you. Then it will be harder." I say to him and he sighed and then I thought 'Where the hell is Jina?' "Where is Jina, anyway?" I ask him and he sighed, and took a seat in a chair**

**"She's helping Jimin dye his hair." He told me and I nodded, 'Why has the boy never learned to dye his hair, on his own?' I thought**

**"Ugh, dude, you have to tell her, what's happening with you in a week, because Jina, is getting worried about your behavior." I say to him, and he sighed**

**"Okay, I'll do it, because I can't keep up with this much longer." He says**

**"Neither can I. I can't lie to her anymore." I say to him, and then I thought about something, "Wait, when is your next gig?" I ask and he shrugged**

**"I think 3 days, Yuri and Jina, got us booked for like the whole year, don't know how, but they did." He says and I nodded, this is not how I wanted to spend my 2nd year of college lying to my friend.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 4!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	5. 5: Baby, you tell me, you love me, so brightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jina tells Jae, that she loves him, Jae doesn't know what to do, if he should tell her that he's not in love with her, or just not tell her at all.

 

 

## 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**3 days later:**

**"Did Brian really write this song, in a lecture?" I ask Jae, and he nods**

**"Yep. He said, it was the most boring thing he's ever listened to." He told me and I laugh and nod**

**"Yep, lectures are the worst, I fall asleep almost all the time." I say and Jae looks at me with shock written on his face, and I roll my eyes "Yes, Jae, I do fall asleep in class." I say and he laughs**

**"Man, you're turning into me. I think we spent to much time together." He says and I laugh**

**"You wish." I say to him, "I mean, I can't play guitar or sing." I say to him and he scoffs**

**"Please, sing something." He says and I shook my head, there is no way in hell, I'm gonna sing, because 1: I can't fucking sing! 2: I don't want to embarrass myself. And 3: I just don't feel like singing. "Come on, please!" He exclaimed while doing aegyo at me, and I roll my eyes and groaned**

**"Ugh, fine." I say and I clear my throat, and I started to sing, the song I wrote last year 'I Need Somebody' "Why am I alone? I'm all alone, I need someone. I need someone right now." I sang, and Jae looked at me with shock 'Is that good or bad?' I thought**

**"Oh my god, we've known each other for like 20 years and I didn't know you had a good singing voice." He says with shock in his voice and I shook my head**

**"I'm not that good." I say and Jae looks at me with shock**

**"No, it's amazing." He told me and I sigh and shook my head**

**"Whatever." I say and I then see Brian, Wonpil, Sungjin, and Dowoon walking over to us 'I guess they have to go on now.' I thought**

**"Jae, we're almost going on." Sungjin told him and Jae nodded and the boys walked off and Jae looked back at me**

**"Okay, so I'll see you after the gig." He told me and I nodded and he went to walk off... come on Jina, you can say those three words can you?**

**"I love you, Jae." I say and he then stopped in his tracks, and looked over at me with surprise on his face... with a hint of guilt? Why the hell, would he look guilty? I shouldn't probably worry about it. I mean, I shouldn't be worried... should I? Jae, then smiled at me, and walked over to the boys, and I sigh, and I went over to where the girls where, and I saw Adrian and Jamie were there, and groan slightly... cause I really don't like Adrian as much, but Jamie is fine with me now, don't know how, but she is.**

**"Okay, hey guys, so this song was written by Brian when he was in a boring lecture, so this is kinda humorous, and it's called 'Whatever!' I hope you guys enjoy." Jae says and everyone cheered and clapped, and I smile and Nevaeh looked at me**

**"He wrote this in a lecture?" She asked me and I nodded**

**"Yeah." I tell her**

**{Brian}**

**"Why is it so boring? Whatever I do, I'm not interested. Why is time so slow? Everything is just so annoying."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"It's hard. Each day is the same."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"I wanna fling everything away (go) and just play. Don't stop me, I'm goin out."**

**{Jae}**

**"I wanna forget everything (go) and just play. I'm telling the night sky."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Gonna play today!"**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Everyone only nags me. Honestly, what did I do so wrong? Do this, do that, how do they have so much to say? Getting tired."**

**{Brian}**

**"It's hard. Each day is the same."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"I wanna fling everything away (go) and just play. Don't stop me, I'm goin out."**

**{Jae}**

**"I wanna forget everything (go) and just play. I'm telling the night sky."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Oh ohoh~ I don't want something amazing. I want a good night."**

**{Brian}**

**"Oh ohoh~ Not saying I'm gonna do something amazing. I just want a good night."**

**{ALL}**

**"Woo~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"I wanna fling everything away (go) and just play. Don't stop me, I'm goin out."**

**{Jae}**

**"I wanna forget everything (go) and just play. I'm telling the night sky."**

**{Sungjin + ALL}**

**"Gonna play today! Gonna play today!"**

**We all clap and cheer, and I smile as I saw that everyone was cheering for them. Wow, even when Brian writes a song, about how annoying school is, people still would like it, it amazes me. Man, I wish I can write as great lyrics as him... even though I wrote a few of their songs for the gigs, I just felt like Brian's writing is more better.**

**\------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"Wait, she told you she loves you?" I ask Jae, as me, him, and Nathalie, were outside of his dorm room, because we didn't want to talk loud, because Jina, was actually sleeping at this moment, and so was Brian, and we didn't want to wake them up.**

**"Yeah, ugh, I don't know what to do. She said it, with the biggest smile on her face, and so brightly!" He exclaimed, and he did it a little too loudly, and Nathalie shushed**

**"Hey, idiot, shut up, or you'll wake her up." She says and he sighed and nodded, then he started to pace, and he looked like he was freaking out, by the way I saw his hands shaking, and his uneven breathing, and I knew he was gonna give himself a panic attack**

**"Hey, Jae, calm down, before you give yourself a panic attack." I say to him and he sighs and nods, and he tries to calm himself down "Jae, you're gonna have to tell her, or we will, cause I'm done with the fucking lying." I say to him and I walk back in the dorm room, because I really can't deal with him right now.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 5!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	6. 6: I want to tell you, me too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jae, feels so freaking depressed because he can't tell Jina, so Nevaeh tells him to tell her, so she wouldn't find out the hard way, but Jina finds out the hard way.

 

 

## 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**NEXT DAY:**

**Ugh I feel like absolute crap. I think, I'm getting sick, or my sinuses are just acting up. I turn over trying to get comfortable, because I don't have class today, so I'm just gonna sleep for a few more hours, and I then felt myself fall and hit the ground with a thud, and I then realize, I slept on the couch**

**"Ugh!" I groaned muffled, because I was face first in the carpet**

**"You okay, there?" I hear Jae's voice ask me, and that made me lift up my head off the ground and I look up at him, and I saw he's holding a cup of coffee for me, "I mean, I was going to wake you up, for your coffee, but I guess you already done that." He says and I groaned**

**"I slept on the couch?" I ask him, and he nods**

**"Yeah, I didn't want to move you, because you looked so comfortable." He says to me and I roll my eyes**

**"Yeah, well, I feel like shit." I say to him**

**"Probably, cause you haven't ate anything, since the gig." He told me and I nod**

**"Probably." I say, and I then get off the ground, and I stretched, and I heard some bones crack, and I looked over to see Jae's disgusted face, and I roll my eyes "Shut up." I say to him, and I took my coffee from him, and I took a sip and I instantly felt better, "Now, I feel better." I say and I continued to drink my coffee, as I walk over to the kitchen counter, and I grab a banana and I started to eat it... banana's are the only thing that don't make me feel sick, when I eat something in the morning.**

**"You don't have any classes today?" Jae asked me and I shake my head 'no'**

**"Nah, I have two classes tomorrow, and then I'm free for the rest of the week." I say to him, and as I took my last sip of coffee, I decided I was gonna go get a shower, because I still feel like shit "Kay, I'm gonna take a shower, and then I'm gonna go to the coffee shop." I say to him as I gave him my cup and he nods and I went to get some clothes from my drawer and I walk into the bathroom, turn on the shower head, so I can have the water warm up to the hot water, and I remove my old clothes, take my daily health vitamins, and I walk into the shower, and I just stand there letting the hot water beat down on my skin. And once I was done, put on my clothes, dry my hair, and put on a little bit of makeup, and I walk out of the bathroom, and I grab my bag, and I look over at Jae**

**"Kay, I'll see you at noon, or 1 o'clock, if it's busy." I say and he nods, "Try not to miss me." I say jokingly and he laughs**

**"Gonna be hard." He says and I roll my eyes, and I walk out of the room, and I started to make my way down to the coffee shop.**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"Jae, this is the final straw, you have to tell her." I say to him and he sighed and nodded**

**"I know, but I don't know how. She told me she loves me, yesterday." He says and I sighed**

**"I told you, it would get harder, if she told you she loved you." I say and he sighed**

**"Maybe, I should just flat out tell her." He says and I widen my eyes**

**"Who the hell, do you think you are?!" I ask him with anger in my voice, and he sighed, and sat down on a chair**

**"Jae, the one, who can't tell his girlfriend, that he doesn't love her anymore." He says talking about himself in 3rd and 2nd person, and I sigh, and I sat down next to him**

**"I know, it's hard, but you're gonna have to tell her, before she finds out the hard way." I say and he nods and he looked at me**

**"How did you know, when you didn't love Dowoon, anymore?" He asked me and I widened my eyes, what the hell? No one has mentioned, me dating Dowoon, since Freshman year, I don't know how I dated him. I mean, it's not like I don't love Dowoon, I love Dowoon, he's a cute kid, but he was too innocent for me, and I was really wild back then.**

**"I uh I just didn't feel a spark, and neither did Dowoon, but you don't you feeling anything, she does. It was easy breaking up with Dowoon, because we broke up with us not loving each other anymore, and we are still the best of friends. But, with you, you're trying to break up with someone, who still loves you." I say to him and he sighed**

**"I thought you were on my side!" He exclaimed, and I was taken aback, and my mouth went agape a little**

**"Excuse me! I'm on nobody's side, I'm tired of lying to my best friend, and I'm tired on having to come over here to talk to you, behind her back!" I yell and he sighed**

**"I know, I know I'm sorry. It's just every time that she says she loves me, I just want to tell her, me too. But, I just can't." He says and I then can hear his voice breaking... oh god, don't you dare start crying**

**"Jae, stop being dramatic." I say to him... this is totally gonna make me sound like dick, oh my god**

**"Well, it's not my fault, that I'm in love with Adrian." He says and I widen my eyes**

**"Are you kidding me?" I ask "Are you actually in love with Adrian?" I ask him again, and he nods**

**"Yeah, it's just hard, to tell her, because of her phobia, and it's just she loves me so much." He says as a line of tears ran down his face, and he wiped them away quickly "God, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to tell her." He says and I sighed**

**Jina's P.O.V**

***A FEW MINUTES BEFORE*:**

**"Kay, see you later, Jina." Wendy says as she walks off with Alec and I wave, okay so my shift was kinda boring, no one really came in today, probably cause, they all had class, so boss pretty much sent me home... thank god! I was walking to my dorm room, and I was about to open the door, until I heard voices, and it sounded like Jae and Nevaeh, so being the sneaky person I am, I started to listen in**

**"Maybe, I should just flat out tell her." Jae says, tell who? Who the hell is he talking about? Is talking about me? He has to be talking about me. No! I shouldn't assume things, he's probably talking about someone else, then I hear someone else's voice... probably Nevaeh**

**"Who the hell, do you think you are?!" She asked him with anger in her voice... why the hell is she so angry? I then see someone walk out of their dorm room, and he looks over at me, and he looked really confused on why I was by my door just eavesdropping, so I just motioned my hand as a way to tell him 'Go away' and he just put his hands up in defense and then walked away, and I then continued to listen in, and I hear Jae's voice again**

**"Jae, the one, who can't tell his girlfriend, that he doesn't love her anymore." Jae says talking about himself in 3rd and 2nd person... wait, he said he can't tell his girlfriend that he doesn't love her anymore? I'm his girlfriend... wait no duh, I'm his girlfriend. Wait, he doesn't love me anymore? I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I kinda wanted to walk away from the door, but I just couldn't move, so I decided to listen to more**

**"I know, it's hard, but you're gonna have to tell her, before she finds out the hard way." Nevaeh told him, well it sucks that I already found out the hard way. Ugh, if he didn't love me anymore, why couldn't he just tell me? The tears were about to fall, but I tried my best to hold them in, and they are not falling... yet**

**"How did you know, when you didn't love Dowoon, anymore?" Jae asked her, and I stood back from the door a little... I totally forgot, that Nevaeh dated Dowoon, in Freshman year. She only dated him for like 6 months, and they were polar opposites. I then put my ear back on the door so I can listen again**

**"I uh I just didn't feel a spark, and neither did Dowoon, but you don't you feeling anything, she does. It was easy breaking up with Dowoon, because we broke up with us not loving each other anymore, and we are still the best of friends. But, with you, you're trying to break up with someone, who still loves you." She told him, and I sigh, that is true**

**"I thought you were on my side!" Jae exclaimed and I widened my eyes**

**"Excuse me! I'm on nobody's side, I'm tired of lying to my best friend, and I'm tired on having to come over here to talk to you, behind her back!" Nevaeh yelled back at him... wait, she knew about this, and didn't tell me?!**

**"I know, I know I'm sorry. It's just every time that she says she loves me, I just want to tell her, me too. But, I just can't." Jae says, and I can hear his voice star to break, and that made me want to open the door, and just hug the life out of him**

**"Jae, stop being dramatic." Nevaeh says, this is what happens when Nevaeh sees someone crying suddenly, she always says "To stop being dramatic" and sometimes I agree with her, but this I don't agree with her... only because it's Jae**

**"Well, it's not my fault, that I'm in love with Adrian." Jae says and that made my tears fall... he's in love with Adrian? That's when I couldn't even bother to listen anymore, so I just push myself away from the door, and I walk away from my dorm room, and I'm gonna go talk with Nathalie, cause she's the only one I could go to at this moment right now, can't go to my brother, he'll fucking kill Jae.**

**\------------------**

**"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Ji." Nathalie told me and I sigh and nodded, as I take a drink of my Soju,**

**"Yeah, it is what it is. We've been best friends all our lives, when best friends date each other, they're bound to break up." I say to her, and she sighed**

**"That's not true. Take a look at Brian, and Nevaeh, they've been dating since like 2 years ago, and they're still together." She told me and I look at her**

**"Yeah, cause Brian and Nevaeh are like perfect for each other. But, with me and Jae, we're polar opposites. I mean, he's a good looking guy, while I'm just average. He can sing, play the guitar, rap, while I can't do any of those. Everything, about Jae, is perfect, like his smile, his personality, his voice, it's just ugh everything. While, you look at me, and I'm flawed... badly. I have scars running down my body, I have really bad anxiety, and depression, I have a phobia, that will fuck up my only chance at love, cause when I get attached they always leave me." I say to her with a few tears rolling down my face, and she just stayed silent, like she didn't even want to say anything, and I sigh, and I pulled out some money, and I put it on the table "Whatever. I'll see you tomorrow." I say to her**

**"Ji-" She started but I put my hand up**

**"No, it's okay." I say to her and I get up from the chair, and I walked away from her, walking out of the bar, and I started to walk back to the dorm, but I know for sure don't want to see Jae at this moment.**

**\--------------**

**I walk back into the dorm room, and I see Jae with his hands on his face, and I sigh softly 'What have you done to me Jae?' I thought, but then I look closely at him, and I see his shoulders shaking, and that made me forget every wrong, that was in my mind, and I just walked over to him, and I put my hand on his shoulder, and he flinched a little, and I sigh, and I squeezed his shoulder, and he looked up at me, and I saw his red eyes, with tears leaving, and his puffy face, and I sigh softly, and I pull him into my embrace, with his face going into my stomach, and I held onto him tightly, and I felt my shirt start to get a little damp, and I sigh, to him he doesn't know why, I know the reason he's crying, but I know why he is, it's because of me. He can't break up with me, because of my phobia, why does everyone that leave me, always use my phobia as an excuse?**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER:**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 6!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Sorry for the wait!!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	7. 7: When you look at me, so warmly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the boys perform at the gig, Jina, might've just realized that Jae is not in love with her anymore (and the worse thing about it, he did in a song!)

 

 

## 

INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY:

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**Park Jamie**

 

**\------------------------------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I wake up and I look over to see Jae by my side, sleeping, and I sigh and I get up from the bed, and I grab a clean white shirt with black stripes, some overalls, and some white shoes, and I get out of my dirty clothes, and I change into those clothes. I did my hair really lazy, just putting it into a messy bun, and I put very little to no makeup on at all. I look into the mirror and I sigh "Park Jina, you are strong." I tell myself, usually giving myself pep talks, saying: You are strong, you got this, you are beautiful, etc, usually raises my confidence, and self esteem, and my day usually goes well, but at this time, I don't think it's gonna go well. I pick up a piece of paper, and a pen and I wrote 'Had to leave, for class. I'll see you at 2:00 cause I also have to work. Love you ♥' I pull the paper off of the notebook, and I put it on a table, and I grab my backpack, and I walk out of the dorm room, so I can go to my two classes of the day**

**\-----------------**

**"So, you heard everything?" Wendy asked me as me, her, and Alec, were walking to the cafeteria, as we didn't have another class until 11:00 and it's only 10:30.**

**"Yeah, I heard how he couldn't tell me he didn't love me anymore, and how he is madly in love with Adrian." I say and Wendy and Alec looked pretty pissed**

**"Fucking idiot!" Alec exclaimed, and I widened my eyes, and that got many people to look at her, but she really doesn't give a crap "I'm sorry, Ji, I love Jae to death, but he was pretty fucking stupid, I mean having all of us going behind your back, and lying about it." Alec says and I widened my eyes, and Wendy just hit her shoulder, and Alec realized what she just said**

**"You guys all knew about this?" I ask not really pissed off, just disappointed**

**"Yeah." Wendy says softly and I nodded**

**"Why did you guys, sneak around behind my back?" I ask and they sigh**

**"We didn't want to, but Jae is the reason why we did it, because he's too much of a fucking pussy, to tell you that he didn't love you anymore." Alec says and I roll my eyes**

**"I don't know, what to do with Jae. Jae, doesn't know that I know that he doesn't love me anymore." I say and I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I felt my heart start to beat fast, and felt my hands start to shake... well this is a problem "Oh god." I say softly, and they look over at me with concerning looks**

**"Jina, you okay?" Wendy asked me and I nodded and smiled softly, and I blinked the tears away**

**"Yeah, I'm fine." I say to her obviously lying and she nod, as she believes it, which made me sigh out of relief, and I then look at the time on my phone, and it said '10:45' and I sigh "We should probably start to get to class." I say and they nod, and we get up and we start to walk to our classes.**

**\------------------**

**NEXT DAY:**

**"Are you gonna be ignoring me all day?" Jae asked me, I decided to just give him the silent treatment, and he doesn't know why, but I obviously know why I'm ignoring him. I look over at him, and I just shrug, and he sighed "Ji, this silent treatment, bullshit, is stupid, and it should stop, cause we're 20 years old, not 5." He says with anger in his voice, and that got me a little more mad, and I look over at him, and he looked pissed, "Ugh, whatever." He says and walked away from me and I sigh to myself, and I start to feel the tears well up in my eyes, and I then walked over to my friends and I sat down next to them**

**"You know you can't ignore him forever." Nathalie told me and I sigh and nodded**

**"I wish I could." I say to her and then I see the boys**

**"Hey, guys we're Day6 and today we're gonna be performing two songs today, which is very rare of us, but the songs were written by Brian and they are called 'Colors' and 'First Time' so I hope you guys enjoy them." Jae says and everyone starts clapping**

**{Brian}**

**"I've been quietly living, in a deep tunnel, that swallowed up the light."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"On the dark road ahead, I can't see a single step ahead. I can't see anything, I can't feel anything."**

**{Jae}**

**"Me in the black and white photo, my world that has spread black. I'm so tired, I'm so tired. Now I'm so sick of it. The colors of you that I see from time to time. It raises me up, because you're the only one with your own color."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"I try holding out my hand, to catch you, but you get farther away."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Hold out your hand. Color me like that red sunset, so I won't lose myself."**

**{All}**

**"Colors, colors."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I'm running out of breath, as I run to the deep ocean, that swallowed up the stars."**

**{Brian}**

**"I see the dry land from far away. But your touch, is like the sweet rain. It colors my heart.**

**{Jae}**

**"The colors of you that I see from time to time. It raises me up."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"If you could, save me~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"I try holding out my hand, to catch you, but you get farther away."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Hold out your hand. Color me like that red sunset, so I won't lose myself."**

**{All}**

**"Colors, colors."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"On top of my world that's filled with scribbles."**

**{All}**

**"Colors"**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Oh, colors~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"With your white hand, cover me with your color."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"I try holding out my hand, to catch you, but you get farther away."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Hold out your hand. Color me like that red sunset, so I won't lose myself."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Hold out your hand~"**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Hold out your hand, so I won't lose myself."**

**{All}**

**"Colors, colors."**

**When the last line was said, everyone started clapping, and I smile a little, and I see Jae smile a little as well, then he cleared his throat and started to speak**

**"Okay, I hope you guys enjoyed that song, that was about I wanted to be with someone I love, but this song is how we have to separate, and how we have to say goodbye. This song is called 'First Time' I hope you guys enjoy." Jae says and everyone started clapping and then they started playing**

**{ALL}**

**"Woo~ woo~ woo~ Yeah~~"**

**{Jae}**

**"Once (we) both (of us) believed it was fate, (but) nope (actually), the truth is (you were) a coincidence that looked like destiny."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"That time (a long while) without you (all alone), I did nothing but suffer. (But now) now (no more) will, not hold you anymore."**

**{Brian}**

**"For the first time, I go someplace else than you. I say goodbye to you you~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"For the first time, I go having a different dream. I say goodbye to you. These words will be the last."**

**{Brian}**

**"Once (back then), even though we were deeply in love. In a moment (for us always), the promised tomorrow turned into a lie. The bigger the pain, the more you get that the time ran away. As this happens, I can't help but give up."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Ooh, even if I try to look back at the days past. Too far, I can no longer have you (no more). I know (you know) we know. I let you go now."**

**{Jae}**

**"For the first time, I go someplace else than you. I say goodbye to you you~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"For the first time, I go having a different dream. I say goodbye to you. These words will be the last."**

**{ALL}**

**"I got to say (I got to say). I got to say goodbye. I got to say (I got to say). I got to say goodbye, (say goodbye)."**

**{Jae}**

**"For the first time, I go someplace else than you. I say goodbye to you you~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"For the first time, I go having a different dream. I say goodbye to you. These words will be the last."**

**After the last line was said, everyone started clapping... everyone except me. I knew what this song was about, and it was about me. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I just stood up from the chair and I just ran off, and I ignored the calls from my friends, I just needed to get out of here. I ran and ran, until I tripped on a rock, and I felt my knees hit the dirt, and I knew they were skidded, and cuts on them, but at this moment I really didn't care, I just started to cry.**

***FLASHBACK***

***SOPHOMORE YEAR***

**I was busy with my friends, as were just messing around, while we were supposed to be studying... since it's study hall, but who really cares. I was busy writing, down some notes, and I can hear Sungjin, Nevaeh, and Jae laughing, and I look over at them**

**"What the hell are you guys laughing about?" I ask them**

**"Oh nothing." Jae says while he was still laughing and I roll my eyes**

**"Yeah. Uh huh, nothing. What is it?" I ask them again and Jae was still laughing**

**"Oh, just you at the gig yesterday." He says and I was confused**

**"What about me?" I ask him**

**"You just leaning on Nevaeh was the funniest thing." He says and I was even more confused, what the hell is he talking about? "Let us recreate it." Jae added and I nodded and then Sungjin started to sing random stuff, and Jae imitated how I was the gig yesterday... in the most extra way as possible, and I just started laughing**

**"Yah!" I exclaim as I throw a paper ball at him**

**"But, Ji, you got to admit, it was pretty funny." Nevaeh says and I sigh and nodded**

**"Yeah, okay." I say and we just started laughing again**

***FLASHBACK OVER***

**I was just still crying, for no apparent reason, I guess it just how I'm gonna lose Jae... in the most worst way possible. I was just sitting here, crying, until I hear Jae's voice... oh god!**

**"Jina?!" He yells**

***TO BE CONTINUED***

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER:**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 7!!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!**

**{Raelee}**


	8. 8: Do you know that it's already over?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jina, knows it's over with her and Jae's relationship, as he tells her the truth.

 

 

## 

***THE CLOTHES SHE WEARS AT THE GIG***

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY:**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V  
**

**When the last line was said, everyone started clapping, and I smile a little, and I see Jae smile a little as well, then he cleared his throat and started to speak**

**"Okay, I hope you guys enjoyed that song, that was about I wanted to be with someone I love, but this song is how we have to separate, and how we have to say goodbye. This song is called 'First Time' I hope you guys enjoy." Jae says and everyone started clapping and then they started playing**

**{ALL}**

**"Woo~ woo~ woo~ Yeah~~"**

**{Jae}**

**"Once (we) both (of us) believed it was fate, (but) nope (actually), the truth is (you were) a coincidence that looked like destiny."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"That time (a long while) without you (all alone), I did nothing but suffer. (But now) now (no more) will, not hold you anymore."**

**{Brian}**

**"For the first time, I go someplace else than you. I say goodbye to you you~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"For the first time, I go having a different dream. I say goodbye to you. These words will be the last."**

**{Brian}**

**"Once (back then), even though we were deeply in love. In a moment (for us always), the promised tomorrow turned into a lie. The bigger the pain, the more you get that the time ran away. As this happens, I can't help but give up."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Ooh, even if I try to look back at the days past. Too far, I can no longer have you (no more). I know (you know) we know. I let you go now."**

**{Jae}**

**"For the first time, I go someplace else than you. I say goodbye to you you~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"For the first time, I go having a different dream. I say goodbye to you. These words will be the last."**

**{ALL}**

**"I got to say (I got to say). I got to say goodbye. I got to say (I got to say). I got to say goodbye, (say goodbye)."**

**{Jae}**

**"For the first time, I go someplace else than you. I say goodbye to you you~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"For the first time, I go having a different dream. I say goodbye to you. These words will be the last."**

**After the last line was said, everyone started clapping... everyone except me. I knew what this song was about, and it was about me. I felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I just stood up from the chair and I just ran off, and I ignored the calls from my friends, I just needed to get out of here. I ran and ran, until I tripped on a rock, and I felt my knees hit the dirt, and I knew they were skidded, and cuts on them, but at this moment I really didn't care, I just started to cry.**

***FLASHBACK***

***SOPHOMORE YEAR***

**I was busy with my friends, as were just messing around, while we were supposed to be studying... since it's study hall, but who really cares. I was busy writing, down some notes, and I can hear Sungjin, Nevaeh, and Jae laughing, and I look over at them**

**"What the hell are you guys laughing about?" I ask them**

**"Oh nothing." Jae says while he was still laughing and I roll my eyes**

**"Yeah. Uh huh, nothing. What is it?" I ask them again and Jae was still laughing**

**"Oh, just you at the gig yesterday." He says and I was confused**

**"What about me?" I ask him**

**"You just leaning on Nevaeh was the funniest thing." He says and I was even more confused, what the hell is he talking about? "Let us recreate it." Jae added and I nodded and then Sungjin started to sing random stuff, and Jae imitated how I was the gig yesterday... in the most extra way as possible, and I just started laughing**

**"Yah!" I exclaim as I throw a paper ball at him**

**"But, Ji, you got to admit, it was pretty funny." Nevaeh says and I sigh and nodded**

**"Yeah, okay." I say and we just started laughing again**

***FLASHBACK OVER***

**I was just still crying, for no apparent reason, I guess it just how I'm gonna lose Jae... in the most worst way possible. I was just sitting here, crying, until I hear Jae's voice... oh god!**

**"Jina?!" He yells.**

**"Oh shit." I whisper, and I then felt myself being pulled up**

**"Are you okay? Why are you crying? Why'd you run off?" He bombarded me with questions**

**"Why do you care?" I ask him out of sadness and anger and he looked at me confused**

**"What are you talking about?" He asked me and I sighed, should I tell him? I feel like I shouldn't, but right now I don't give a crap**

**"Two days ago, when I was going to the coffee shop, for my shift, I left early, and I went back to the dorm, to hear you and Nevaeh, talking about how you weren't in love with me anymore, and how you're madly love with Adrian." I say to him, and I saw him tense up "Were you ever gonna tell me?" I ask now getting more mad than sad**

**"I was-" He says but I cut him off**

**"When?! When I see you and Adrian, holding hands, hugging, or worse kissing?!" I yell and he looked down, and I sighed "Jae, just tell me the truth, are you really not in love with me anymore? If you aren't, I'll understand. I just need to know the truth." I told him, and he sighed shaikly**

**"No." He says, and I nodded with a sad smile, and I sigh**

**"That's all I wanted to hear." I say and Jae looks at me with this sad look in his eyes**

**"Ji-" He starts but I cut him off**

**"No, it's okay." I say to him and I just walk off with visible tears running down my face, and I can hear Jae calling after me, but I didn't stop, and I just kept walking.**

**\--------------------**

**1 HOUR LATER:**

**I was just sitting in my dorm room... alone rolled up into a blanket, well I guess that me and Jae have broken up, I already miss him, and it's only been an hour. Ugh, I've gone 20 years without dating him... I can go longer. I hear the door open, and I didn't really pay attention to it, and I then felt myself start to get crushed**

**"My poor baby, Jina!" I hear Evelyn's voice, and I groaned**

**"Evelyn, get off of her." Alec says and then I felt like I can breathe again, and I pull the blanket off of my head, and I look to see Alec, Evelyn, Wendy, and Nathalie**

**"What are you guys doing here?" I ask**

**"Here to cheer you up!" Wendy says**

**"Well, where's Nevaeh and Yuri?" I ask them**

**"Umm - well they're cheering up Jae." Evelyn says and I nodded**

**"Is he crying?" I ask**

**"Yeah, and it's really bad." Nathalie says**

**"How bad?" I ask with concern lacing in my voice**

**"Really bad, like panic attack - he can't even breathe, bad!" She exclaimed, and I sigh softly, and I pull my knees up to my chest, and I lay my chin on my knees**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**"Ugh, make his wailing stop." Yuri complained, and I sigh and I really didn't have enough energy to hit her or yell at her.**

**"How long has been like this?" Jamie asked and I sighed softly**

**"For an hour." I say to her and she widened her eyes**

**"A whole hour?" She asked and I nodded**

**"Yeah, once he falls asleep, that's when we can leave." I say to her, and then I didn't hear any crying and I sigh in relief, and I just walk into the room the boys were in, comforting Jae, and I see Jae sitting there with his knees up against his chest, and I see Brian and Wonpil comforting him the best he can, and I sigh "Guys, I'm gonna go, and check on Jina." I say and they nodded, and I walk out of the room, and I started to walk to Jina's dorm room, I really hope she's okay.**

**\--------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I'm definitely not okay. I don't think I'll ever be okay. I mean, I was so in love with Jae, that it hurt to let him go. Now, he's hurting... probably more than me - wait no! He shouldn't care, cause he can finally be with Adrian.**

**"Jina, are you sure, you'll be okay?" Nathalie asked me and I sigh and I nodded**

**"Yeah, you guys, go ahead, I'll be okay." I say to them**

**"Okay, see you tomorrow." Wendy says and they walk out, and I felt the tears roll down my face, and I just put head on the pillow, and I let myself sob and sob and sob, until I was fast asleep.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER:**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 8!!!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	9. 9: How can I say it? When you're still so happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jina tries to move on from Jae, he just tries to come back into her life with a personal song she wrote.

 

 

## 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY:**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**NEXT DAY:**

**I woke up with the biggest headache in the whole world, man crying yourself to sleep takes a lot out on you. I get up and I saw it was like 5:00 P.M. I can't believe I slept in almost all day. I guess that I'm gonna pull an all nighter. I get my clothes and I just change out of my dirty ones, and I didn't even bother to do my hair, and I just put into a ponytail, and I didn't bother to do my makeup either, and I grab random boots, and I put them on, and I walk out of my dorm room with a yawn, and I walk down to campus, and I saw that everyone was out and eating... oh shit, what am I missing?**

**"Oh, hey Jina." I hear Jamie's voice, and I look over at her**

**"What's going on here?" I ask and Jamie sighs**

**"It's the annual BBQ. You remember? Weren't you here for it, last year?" Jamie asked me and I shook my head**

**"No, I was with Jae-" I say but I stopped myself, when I say Jae's name**

**"Oh." She mumbles and then she patted me on the shoulder and walked off and I sigh**

**"Great." I mutter and I just walked off, to maybe get some food, or alcohol... mostly alcohol. I was just busy picking out what I want to eat, and I then hear a voice and I look over to see Jae... the last person I wanted to see**

**"Hey, Jina." He says softly and I look down at the ground, and I sigh**

**"Are you performing?" I ask him softly and he shook his head 'yes', and I sigh and nodded softly**

**"Yeah." He says "But Ji-" He started but I cut him off**

**"Jae, I don't really want to hear it. You're in love with Adrian. I mean, I should've known something was wrong, when you tensed up every time I kissed you, or how unconformable you were every time I hugged you or held your hand, or how you haven't even told me you loved me not even once!" I exclaimed and he looked down at the ground, and I sigh softly "Whatever, Jae." I say to him and I walk away from him, but I felt my wrist being grabbed, and I just got myself out of his grip, and I walk away from him.**

**\-----------------------**

**1 HOUR LATER:**

**I was walking around, with Wendy and Alec, and I saw that the boys were going on stage and I sigh softly 'Wonder what they're gonna perform this time.' I thought**

**"Hey guys, we're Day6, and today we're gonna be performing something my girlfriend - no sorry umm ex girlfriend, wrote when she was 13 years old, and it is called 'Stop The Rain' I hope you guys enjoy." Jae says and everyone was clapping, but I just felt bad, because he had to say ex girlfriend**

**{Jae}**

**"White turns to black, the sky grows heavier little by little. Foreshadowing the future that lies ahead."**

**{Brian}**

**"The coat of paint that you had drawn on me will wash away. The flowing tears together with the rain, will disappear with all of your color tonight"**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Even if I run away with all of my power no change even if I reject it. I know now that it's gonna follow me."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"How can I stop the rain? Somebody close the gate. To stop this rain, please teach me, I'll do anything."**

**{Jae}**

**"The clouds are rushing in. Everything fading grey. The lights in despair become clouded."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"The moment your smile disappeared. The sky was covered with dark clouds. It must have been mourning the tomorrow that you're not in."**

**{Jae}**

**"Somehow thought I was climbing over I can't feel me now. I'm getting deeper and my cries are drowning out. Is it going to end just like this? Oh no~"**

**{Wonpil}**

**"No change even if I reject it. I know now that the ending will stay the same."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"How can I stop the rain? Somebody close the gate. To stop this rain, please teach me, I'll do anything."**

**{Brian}**

**"How could I've stopped the end? There's nowhere left to stay. Baby you paint over my life. Without you don't really know if I'll be alright~"**

**{Jae}**

**"The clouds are rushing in. Everything fading grey. The lights in despair become clouded."**

**I felt the tears rush out of my eyes, as I saw tears leave Jae's eyes, and how his voice broke at the end, and I sigh softly and shakily, and Wendy and Alec looked over at me**

**"You okay?" Wendy asked me and I nodded, softly, but I just needed to get out of here, so I just took off and ran, and I ignored Wendy and Alec's calls, I just couldn't be here anymore. I was running and running, until I bumped into someone, and that someone was Jungkook... oh boy**

**"Jina, are you okay?" He asked me and I sigh softly and I shook my head**

**"No, not really." I say to him, and I felt the tears fall down my face, and he pulled me into his embrace, and I broke down crying into his arms. Oh my god, I don't even know this kid well enough, and now I'm crying in his arms.**

**"What happened?" He asked me and I shook my head**

**"I don't want to talk about it." I say to him with a shaky voice, and he nods**

**\----------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**I look all over for Jina, but it turns out, that she ran off, after the boys performed that song... I mean I would too if my ex boyfriend performed a song that is like very personal... I actually don't know if that song is personal or not, all I know is that she ran off. I look over for Jae, and I saw that he was locking lips with Adrian, and I grew angry 'What the fuck is wrong with him?' Once, Adrian, pulled away she looked over at me and smirked, and Jae was smiling when she pulled away, and then he looked over at me, and his smile disappeared, and I roll my eyes, 'You're so dead.' I mouth and I walk away from the scene, and I pull out my phone to text Jina**

**"JiJi: Girl, I just saw Jae and Adrian locking lips, I'm sorry." I sent it, and I just started walking looking for Brian and the girls.**

**\--------------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**As I was still in Jungkook's embrace, I heard my phone go off, and I pulled it out of my pocket, and I saw it was a text from Nevaeh 'Wonder what it is about?' I thought, and I saw the text, and I felt the tears leave again**

**"Vaeh: Girl, I just saw Jae and Adrian locking lips, I'm sorry." and I sigh**

**"Gee, you move on pretty fast, don't you?" I ask myself, and Jungkook looked at me confused**

**"What?" He asked me and I sigh**

**"Might as well tell you now." I tell him, and he shook his head**

**"No, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He says but I shook my head**

**"I need to tell you this." I say and he nods and I sigh to myself "Okay, so you know that me and Jae are - well I guess were dating. But, as the year went by, I started to notice, that he tensed up every time I kissed him, or how he looked uncomfortable when I hugged him or held his hand, and how he hasn't told me he loves me. But, it turns out that he didn't love me anymore, and he has madly in love with this one freshman named Adrian, and Nevaeh found him making out with her." I say to him and he looked really mad... like really mad**

**"Why the hell would he do that for? Why wouldn't he love such a beautiful girl like you?" He asked and I blush a little**

**"Maybe, because I'm flawed-" I say but he cut me off**

**"No! Don't say that about yourself, you're one of the most prettiest girls, I've ever met, and I'm not just saying this because you're Jimin's little sister. I'm saying this, because I had a crush on you ever since I saw you, but I know you don't feel the same way." He says and I was shocked on how he just basically confessed to me like this**

**"Oh w-well, Jungkook-" I say but he cut me off, by kissing me, and I was really shocked, that I didn't kiss back... because I'm still in love with Jae, I'll always be in love with Jae.**

**\--------------------**

**1 HOUR LATER:**

**I walked back to my dorm room, and I saw Jae just leaning against my door, with his eyes closed, possibly sleeping, and I sigh 'What the hell is he doing?' I thought, I really hope he hasn't been here long.**

**"Jae!" I exclaim and he just jumped up "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Adrian?" I ask him and he sighed**

**"Well, this is my dorm room too you know." He says and I roll my eyes and I realized that the door was locked, and I sigh, and I pull out the keys from my pocket, and I unlock the door, and Jae ran in and just flung himself on the couch, and I roll my eyes 'Is it too late to switch roommates?' I thought and I sigh and I threw my keys on the table, and I took off my shoes, as they were killing me, and I pull my hair out of the ponytail, and I heard Jaes voice "Hey, Jina, are we still best friends, now that I'm dating Adrian? I mean, I really don't want us to stop being friends." He asked, and I smile softly, and nod**

**"Yeah, of course." I say and he smiles and nods, and I then felt my heart just break into a million pieces, why does life never go my way?**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER:**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 9!!!!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	10. 10: Whenever you're with me? How can I say it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a fight breaks out between Jina and Jae, Jina feels like she can't handle the sadness in her soul.

 

 

## 

***BEFORE WE START "HOW CAN I SAY" IS GOING ON HIATUS UNTIL FEBRUARY 3RD BUT I'LL PREWRITE ALL OF THE CHAPTERS SO YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO WAIT, I JUST WANT TO WRITE SOME OTHER STUFF, SO I HOPE YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND! BUT CHAPTER 10 IS GOING TO BE THE LAST CHAPTER UNTIL**   **FEBRUARY 3RD**    *****

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY:**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**1 WEEK LATER:**

**"You know, you don't have to be fine with their relationship. I mean, I hate it." Wendy told me as I was working on a song for the guys to sing, and I was at work too, and talking about Adrian and Jae's relationship**

**"Wendy, it's fine, me and Jae are still best friends, and to be honest, I'm fine with the relationship." I say to her and Alec scoffs**

**"Bitch please, we can see you're not fine with it." Alec told me and I sigh**

**"Guys, I'm fine with it, trust me." I say, to be honest, I'm not really okay with it, but I'm making the best of it.**

**"Okay, we'll trust you." Wendy says and I smile, and I continue to write the song "Besides, what you writing anyway?" Wendy asked me and I sigh**

**"A song for the boys." I say to her, and she nods**

**"I can't believe you guys are still friends, I mean, I would ended our friendship, if I was you." Alec says and I laugh**

**"Yeah whatever." I say and she smiles a little, and then I went back to writing in my notebook.**

**\------------------**

**I ran over to the park, where the boys, the girls, and Adrian were at, and I gave the notebook to Brian, so he can read the song, and Brian looked at it, and read it, and I saw Jae looking over his shoulder, being nosey**

**"Wow, this is very good, Ji." Jae told me and I smile**

**"Thanks." I told Jae, and he nods, and I then I hear a familiar voice**

**"Jina!" I hear the voice yell, and I turn around to see Jungkook, and I smile and he ran up to me, and hugged the life out of me, and he literally lifted me off the ground, and that made me wrap my legs around his waist, and he smiled up at me, and I smiled back at him "Hey, so are you gonna go to the coffee shop today?" He asked and I thought about it, and I shook my head**

**"No, I'm free." I say, and he nods, and he puts me down on the ground**

**"Okay, so I'll meet you at that pizza place." He said and I nodded, and he gave me kiss on the cheek, and he ran off, and I looked over at my friends and they looked very confused and shocked**

**"So, you're dating Jungkook now?" Jae asked me, and I could've sworn I heard jealousy in his voice, but I just shook it off**

**"No, I'm not." I say to him and he nods, and I then sit down next to Nevaeh, practically laying on her**

**"Dude, I'm not your pillow!" She exclaimed but I really didn't care at this moment**

**"Yeah, but you're comfortable." I tell her and she scoffs, and she pushes me off of her, so now I'm face first in the grass and everyone just dies of laughter, and I groaned and I look up at her "Damn you, you know I'm allergic to grass!" I exclaim and she rolls her eyes**

**"Well, you shouldn't have laid on me then." She says and I roll my eyes, and I look over and I saw that Jae was just staring at me, and I look over back at Nevaeh... okay that was weird.**

**\------------------**

**NEXT DAY:**

**I was walking to the gig venue, and to be honest I'm very nervous, because this is the first gig that me and Jae aren't together anymore, and it's very nerve wracking. "Okay, it's gonna be fine." I told myself and I then start walking to the stage, and I sigh to myself and I see the boys on the stage, and I sigh and smile, and I go and sit down next to Nevaeh, and she looked at me**

**"Where the hell were you?" She asked me and I sigh**

**"Traffic was a bitch, and Jimin drives slow, you know." I tell her and she nods, but then she looked over at me**

**"Wait, doesn't Jimin not have his license?" She asked me and I sigh and nod**

**"Yeah, that's why he was slow." I say and I then see Adrian sitting next to Nathalie, and I sigh softly 'This is going to hurt my heart' I thought**

**"Hey, guys, we're Day6 and today we're going to perform a song that was written by one of my best friends, and it's called 'I Loved You' hope you guys enjoy." Jae says and I frown softly, because we're back to the term "best friends" instead of "boyfriend and girlfriend", even though I agreed to it, goddammit, I just don't like it.**

**{Brian}**

**"I resent you. I hate the times I had with you. After I lost you, everything became meaningless."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I don't long for you, I don't miss you. Your love that you gave to me (you). I don't want to remember it."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Really I loved you~ It's because I loved you so much. Because I want to forget you but I can't. That's why I want to forget you."**

**{Jae}**

**"Really, I loved you~ That's how much harder it is, I want to hate you. But I can't so I hate you even more."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I know. I know that what I'm saying right now, is really stupid. That it doesn't even make sense, I know, I know."**

**{Jae}**

**"After you left me, my world had already stopped. It had already ended. Oh~"**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Really I loved you~ It's because I loved you so much. Because I want to forget you but I can't. That's why I want to forget you."**

**{Brian}**

**"Really, I loved you~ That's how much harder it is, I want to hate you. But I can't so I hate you even more."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"To be honest, no matter how much I try to erase you. I know I can't, yeah."**

**{Brian}**

**"To be honest, I know that to me, you're someone who I just can't forget."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Loved you~"**

**{Jae}**

**"Because I want to forget you but I can't. That's why I want to forget you."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Really, I loved you~ That's how much harder it is, I want to hate you. But I can't so I hate you even more."**

**When the song was done, everyone started clapping and cheering, and Nevaeh looked over at me 'Oh boy. What are they going to say?' I thought, I really don't want to deal with the bullshit, I mean I have to deal with it every day, when Jae brings Adrian to our dorm room**

**"Wait, you wrote that?" She asked and I sigh and nodded**

**"Yeah. I think I made it pretty obvious, that I still love him." I say to her**

**"No duh!" She exclaimed and I then look over to see Adrian looking at me really pissed, and I sigh softly, and then the boys walk off the stage, and I get up from my chair, and I start walking to the food stands, because I didn't get a chance to eat before I left. As I was busy trying to get food, I felt my wrist being grabbed, and I look over to see Adrian with my wrist in her tiny, but strong grip**

**"You still love him?" She asked me and I scoff**

**"Of course I do, because he's my first love." I say to her, and she laughs and rolls her eyes**

**"Really, because I actually thought Eunwoo was your first love." She says, and I widen my eyes, and I felt myself stop breathing 'How the hell, does she know about that?' I thought**

**"How the fuck, do you know about that?" I ask her and she laughs**

**"Oh, you may not remember me, but I went to your high school, and let me tell you, you are a mess." She said to me, and I jerk my hand out of her grip**

**"Don't you ever talk about me like that." I demand with absolute rage in my voice, and she smiled**

**"Oh, where is this confidence? Besides, thank Max, for having me do this, because I finally got what I wanted... Jae, and let me tell you, I'm gonna break his heart well." She says, and I widened my eyes, and I then walked over to her and I slapped her right across the face, and she screamed, and that made everyone look over at us 'Oh, that's just great.' I thought and I sigh, and I turn my head to see my friends coming, and a very angry looking Jae, 'Oh, shit!' I thought**

**"What the hell is happening?" Nevaeh asked and I look over to see Adrian crying, 'Oh, that fake little bitch!' I thought**

**"She slapped me for no reason!" She cried, and my friends looked over at me**

**"She provoked me!" I exclaim, and Jae looked at me completely pissed off, 'Oh, good god!' I thought, and then he just pulled Adrian into a hug, and she looked at me and smiled, and I gasp 'That little bitch!' I thought and I then just walk off, with angry tears running down my face**

**\---------------**

**I walk in the dorm room, and I just throw my jacket somewhere... well more like chuck it, because I'm so so so freaking pissed off right now!**

**"Why the hell, did you slap her?!" Jae asked me really pissed off... well more like yelled at me really pissed off, and I turn my head over to him**

**"She fucking provoked me!" I yell back, and he scoffed**

**"Why would she do that?" He asked me, and I raise my eyebrows**

**"Cause, she hates me, Jae! And, she's just trying to get to you!" I yell frustrated out of my mind**

**"No! She's not trying to get to me! She's a very sweet girl, who's trying to be your friend, but you're too much of a bitch to friends with her!" He yells, and I was taken aback 'Did he just call me a bitch?' I thought**

**"Oh? So, I'm a bitch? You were pussying out for weeks, to tell me that you weren't in love with me anymore, and once you did, you did it in a song! A song, Jae! You're the little bitch here!" I yelled and he just groaned and screamed out of frustration... this is the actual first fight that we are in, that we can't just stop screaming at each other, or we ever screamed at each other this much.**

**"Well, sorry it's just that Adrian, is very pretty, and doesn't have scars on her body, to show how flawed she is! Oh, and she doesn't have a phobia that makes the person stay with them, because they are scared to be on their own!" He yelled at me, and I widened my eyes, and I then felt the tears well up in my eyes, and I let them fall... that's it. I'm done!**

**"You know what, Jae! Get out! Get the fuck out!" I yelled, and he looked at me with wide eyes, because I never yelled at him like that, and to be honest I'm surprised myself**

**"What do you mean 'get out?' this is also my room!" He yelled, and I sigh loudly angrily**

**"Go be with Adrian, cause I can't deal with you right now!" I yelled and I walked over to the door, and opened it, as I felt the tears roll down my face, but he didn't even move a muscle, and I let out a sob, and I just walk over to him, and I grab his arm, and drag him over to the door "Get out!" I yell, and I pushed him out of the room, and I closed the door, and I just slid down to the ground, and I just start sobbing 'Ugh, I hate when this happens!'**

**\----------------**

**1 HOUR LATER:**

**I was sitting on my couch, just waiting for Jae to come back, I really didn't want him to spend the night with Adrian, I was just really mad, and we both said some stuff that we didn't mean. I then hear a knock on the door, and I get up, and I smile, hoping it was Jae, and I walk over to the door, and I look through the peephole, and I saw it wasn't Jae, but the girls... well minus Evelyn, and I sigh and I open the door "Hey, guys." I say and I let them in, and we went to sit down back on the couch**

**"Wait, what did Adrian say?" Nevaeh asked me and I sigh softly**

**"Well she said "Because I finally got what I wanted... Jae, and let me tell you, I'm gonna break his heart well." And that just made me pissed." I say to her**

**"That little bitch, needs to be put into her place. Should I beat her up?" Yuri asked and Nevaeh hit her on the shoulder**

**"No, because Jae will get mad." I say to her, and I then freeze, because I said Jae's name**

**"Wait- where's Jae?" Nathalie asked me and I sigh**

**"Kicked him out of the room, for the night." I say to her**

**"What why?" Wendy asked me and I groaned and I lay my back on the bed**

**"Because, he pissed me off, so I told him to go be with Adrian for the night." I say, and then I felt my heartbeat start to rise, and my breathing started to speed up, and I felt my hands start to shake, and I felt my body start to heat up 'Oh god.' I thought "I-I'll be right back." I say and they nodded, and I went over to my bathroom, and I went in, and I closed and locked the door, and I look at myself in the mirror, and I felt myself start to cry, and I felt my wrists start to itch, and I saw the razor on a cabinet space, and I grabbed it, and I pressed it against my wrist, but I kept it there, and I just started sobbing**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**I heard a knock on the door, and I sigh and I went over to the door, and I look through the peephole, and I saw it was Jae "Ugh." I mutter, and I open it and I saw him just standing there "What do you want?" I ask him and he sighed**

**"I wanted to come here, and apologize to Jina." He says and I sigh**

**"Yeah, but why did you have to knock on the door?" Wendy asked him and he shrugged**

**"I didn't want to barge in." He replied**

**"Wait- weren't you gonna spend the night at Adrian's dorm?" Yuri asked and Alec hit her on the back of the head**

**"I was, but I didn't want to bother her." He says, and then I hear Nathalie's voice**

**"Guys, it's been a long time since Jina, has come out of the bathroom." She says, and I turn around to face her**

**"Wait, what?" I ask her**

**"It's been like maybe 5-10 minutes, since she came out of the bathroom." Nathalie says, and I look back over at Jae, and he looked at me with wide eyes, and then he ran right past me, over to the bathroom, and I follow him, and he just stood in front of the door, just banging on it and yelling for Jina to come out, and I then Yuri pull out something out of her hair, and I look at her**

**"What the hell is that?" I ask her, confused on what the hell she was holding**

**"A bobby pin, so you guys can unlock the door." She says, and I grab the bobby pin, from her, and I stick it in the door knob, and I twist and turn the little piece of shit, until I hear a 'click' sound, and we open the door, to see Jina, sobbing with a razor in her right hand, and blood running down her left arm, and I gasp, and Jae ran over to her**

**"Goddammit, Jina!" He exclaimed, not really angry, but just scared, and he took the razor from her hand and he threw it somewhere else, and he put his arms around her, and she just continued to cry, and Jae looked over at me with tears starting to fall down his face "Vaeh, go get a towel or something!" He yelled, and I nodded, and I ran to go and find a towel, which it's good thing I found one quick, because I would've been screwed, if I didn't find one, and I ran back over to the bathroom and I gave the towel to Jae, and he pressed it onto Jina's wrist, and I saw the blood seeping through the towel, and I just cringe my head away, because it hurts to see her like this "Nevaeh, call Jimin." Jae says, and Jina looked over at him and then she shook her head**

**"No! Don't call Jimin, please Vaeh, I'm begging you. Please, don't call Jimin." She pleaded, and I sigh softly**

**"I can't, Jae. Look at her, if you care about her, stay with her, goddammit." I say to Jae, and he just looked terrified**

**"I don't know what to do." He says and I sigh**

**"Like I said: just stay with her." I say and I then look at the other girls "Come on, guys." I say and they looked like they didn't want to move, but they nodded, and we walked out of the room, and out I just felt myself breathe a sigh of relief "It's a good thing, it wasn't as deep." I say to myself**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I can't believe I just did that, I mean, I was doing so good, until that fucking panic attack made me go over the edge, and Jae had to see it too. Jae was cleaning and bandaging up my wrist, and I wipe away the extra tears, that were falling from my face, with my right hand**

**"I'm sorry, Jae." I say to him, and he didn't answer me, and I sigh, and I look down at my lap, 'He's probably gonna hate me now' I thought**

**"I don't hate you." He says, and I look up at him, I said that outloud, did I?**

**"You don't?" I ask**

**"No. I could never hate you. It's just I hate when you do this." He says as he raised my arm up, and I sigh**

**"I know, I'm so so sorry." I say to him, and he smiles slightly**

**"I know you are." He says, and he sighed "I'm sorry for what I said, about you, I didn't mean any of it." He says, and I smile**

**"I'm sorry too." I say and he smiled a little, even though me and him aren't together anymore, I could still feel the love in the air.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER:**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 10!!!**

**Long chapter today!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**{Raelee}**


	11. 11: I can't bear to tell you. That my heart has already left.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As, Jina, gets really annoyed by Jae and Adrian, she might've just moved on... but did she really?

***JINA'S THIRD TATTOO**

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY:**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina’s P.O.V**

**2 WEEKS LATER:**

**“Okay, show me your new tattoo!” Jungkook exclaimed, as I put down grocery bags, in my brother’s dorm room, and I laugh**

**“Not right now.” I say to him, and he whined, oh my god Jungkook, what are you seven?**

**“Why not?” He asked and I roll my eyes, he is such a child, oh my god! I’ve never met the most childish 22 year old in my life!**

**“Because she’s busy, Jungkook.” Jimin told him and I nodded, agreeing with my older brother.**

**“Yeah, I’m busy.” I say to him, and he sighed and rolled his eyes, such a pouty child.**

**“Whatever.” He said ‘Ugh, what a brat.’ I thought, and I took off my shoe, and I showed him and he looked at it, and he stared at it in awe “You have cute toes.” He says as he pulled one of my toes, and I kicked him in the stomach, and he laughs “No, but I like the tattoo, it’s really pretty.” He told me and I smile**

**“Thanks, Jungkook. Now, will you quit bothering me about it?” I ask him and he nods happily, and I roll my eyes ‘What a weird kid.’ I thought, and I look over at Jimin “Okay, I think that’s all I can do for you, can you handle the rest?” I ask and he nods and smiled**

**“Yeah, I think me and Jungkook can handle the rest, thank you Jina.” He says and I hear Jungkook groan**

**“Why do I have to carry the bags?” He asked with a pout on his face, and I just laugh**

**“Because I said so, and I’m older, now shut up and quit complaining about it.” Jimin told him and I laugh slightly**

**“Okay, I’m gonna go.” I say and they nod, and I say my goodbyes to the boys and I walk out of the dorm room, and I start to walk back to my room.**

**\----------------------**

**I walk in the room, and I see Jae, and Adrian talking and laughing with each other, and I had this mean and evil glare on my face, as I walk by them, and over to my bed, until I hear Jae’s voice**

**“Jina, what’s wrong?” Jae asked and I sigh and I shook my head**

**“Nothing is wrong.” I say “Go back with your girlfriend.” I tell him, and I was going to walk somewhere else, until I feel his hand grab my wrist, the one that still had the cuts on them, and I wince softly, but it was enough for him to let me go**

**“Jina, I’m so sorry.” He says and I just nodded without looking at him or talking to him, and I walk over to my bed, and I grabbed my computer and I began working on my essay that is supposed to be done… like tomorrow, ugh I hate being behind, when I was Jae, I would always get stuff done on time, but it’s just without him, I get really distracted and I always get things done the last minute.**

**\---------------------**

**“You needed help with this?” Jungkook asked me, while he sat down next to me, and I nodded. I just had to get out of the dorm room, because Jae and Adrian were distracting me, and I really couldn’t get anything done.**

**“Yeah, I just need help, with this second paragraph.” I say to him and he nods and he went to look at what I’ve wrote,**

**“Wait-” He says and I look over at him “Isn't this due tomorrow?” He asked me and I look down and sighed**

**“Yeah, I just haven't been concentrating on it very well.” I tell him and he sighed**

**“It's because of Jae, isn't it?” He asked and I nodded**

**“Yeah, him and Adrian have been really ticking me off, to the point where I'm irritated.” I say to him and he puts his arm around me**

**“You know, Jina, he doesn't deserve you,” He told me**

**“You spent all this time loving him, while he just fell in love with someone else.” He continued and I wipe away the tears that I didn't notice fell**

**“Yeah, but I really can't help that I'm in love with him.” I say to him and Jungkook just sighs and he nodded**

**“I know.” He says “But, Jae lost one beautiful person.” Jungkook told me and I look over at him, and he starts leaning in, and so do I, and then before I know it, his lips were against mine, and mine were against his, and we were like that for a few seconds until we both pull away with red cheeks and I just clear my throat**

**“Let's just work on the essay.” I say and he nods and we went to look at what I wrote again, and I smile, and I give a quick peck on the cheek, and that surprised him, cause he looked over at with wide eyes and I smile at him**   
**\----------------**

**“So I heard you and Jungkook are together.” Jae says to me as I give his boba and I look at him with wide eyes**

**“Where did you even hear that?” I ask and he shrugged**

**“Just heard it from randoms.” He told me and I sigh**

**“Yes, me and Jungkook are together.” I say to him and he looked really shocked, like he really didn't expect it to be true. ‘What is the reason for that look?’ I thought but I shook it off “I'll see you at the dorm later, Jae.” I say to him and he nods and I walk over to Wendy and Alec**

**“So are really with Jungkook?” Wendy asked and I nodded**

**“Yeah.” I tell her**

**“Damn girl, I didn't expect you to be in love with anyone else other than Jae.” Alec says and I sigh and chuckle**   
**“I need to just move on from him… even though it's hard.” I say to them and they nodded and I smile but I then frown… no matter how many guys I date, Jae would always be the person I'm in love with.**

**OUTRO** **: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**I'm so sorry for the long wait but it's back!!!**

**Here's chapter 11!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!**

**사랑해요!!!**

**{RAELEE}**


	12. 12: Oh how can I say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jina, might still be in love with Jae, even though she probably won't admit it.

 

 

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**"Does this make me look stupid?" Yuri asked me and Nevaeh, and we looked over at her, and we widened our eyes, as we saw she was wearing a dress, Yuri usually never wears dresses, she just usually wears her typical style which was t-shirts and ripped jeans, so this a new one for her.**

**"No, you look fine," I say, and she smiles "But, what's the occasion?" I ask and she sighs**

**"Going on a date with, Sungjin, but I feel like I look stupid." She complains and Nevaeh just rolls her eyes**

**"Girl, Sungjin, isn't gonna care about your looks, he loves you for who you are." She told her and Yuri scoffs**

**"Well, it's not like it's Brian, who doesn't care if your naked or not, Nevaeh." Yuri told her, and Nevaeh just glared at her, oh boy here they go again. It's like the same thing with these two and it's fighting.**

**"Well, sorry, that I was just trying to help your bitch ass!" She yelled and I rolled my eyes and groaned**

**"Can you guys like not fight for once? I mean, good god guys!" I exclaim and Nevaeh nods and Yuri rolls her eyes and mutters a 'Whatever' and her response made me roll my eyes 'Ugh, I swear to god these two are older than me, and they act like children.' I thought "Yuri, Sungjin is gonna think you look great, don't think so low of yourself... like I do." I tell her and she nods**

**"Yeah, but it's not like I was in love with my childhood best friend." She says and I roll my eyes, she just had to there, did she?**

**"Yuri, I swear to god, one of these days I'm gonna kick your ass." Nevaeh says and Yuri scoffs**

**"You say, you are gonna do something, but yet you never do it." Yuri challenged and my mouth went agape 'Oh this is gonna be bad.' I thought**

**"Watch it, Yuri, or you're gonna be going on a date with a black eye, and bruises." Nevaeh threatened and I snicker and I then stood up from my spot**

**"Okay, I'm gonna go, can't keep Jungkook waiting." I say**

**"What is he? Your husband?" Yuri asked as she was fixing her hair and I roll my eyes**

**"No, but we're gonna hang out with my brother, his friends, Evelyn, and Eunwoo." I say to her**

**"Oh, Ji, if you see Evelyn, tell her I said 'hi'." Nevaeh told me and I nodded and I walked out of the dorm room, and I started walking to find Jungkook.**

**\----------------**

**"Okay, dude, I bet you can't carry Jina, by just one arm." Taehyung challenged and Eunwoo scoffed**

**"Jungkook, don't take the challenge, because I was able to pick Jina, up by one arm, she is skinny like a toothpick." Eunwoo told him, but Jungkook just shook his head**

**"I never shy away from a challenge, Eunwoo." He told him and he then picked me up like Taehyung said, by one arm, and I was scared for my life, but I trust Jungkook not to drop me, I sure as hell would not trust Jae, to pick me up like this, because Jae has not muscle whatsoever.**

**"Damn, what do you do for a living? Wrestle?" Eunwoo asked Jungkook and Jungkook laughed and shook his head, as he put me back down on the ground**

**"No, but I do go to the gym a lot." He told him, and I look at him, and I widen my eyes**

**"No way!" I exclaim "You have a face of a baby." I continue and he laughs**

**"Yeah, I get that a lot." He told me and I smile**

**"Yeah, he does at least 240 push ups." Namjoon says and I widen my eyes**

**"Holy shit." I say and he laughs, and he put his arm around me**

**"Yeah, but it looks like I don't do anything half of the time." He told me and I snicker, yeah that's true.**

**\------------------------**

**It's been awhile since the boys had a gig, and I heard they were gonna perform two songs today, which is great. As, I was sitting down with Jungkook sitting down next to me, I see the boys come out on the stage, and everyone cheers, I really hope these boys get like scouted somewhere, so they can like get a record deal because these boys are amazing.**

**"Okay, hey guys, we're Day6, and today we're gonna be performing two songs for you guys, the first one is called Warning, and we want you guys to stand up from your seats!" Jae says and we all stand up... oh boy. I then hear the guitar riff starting and I knew right then and there, that it's gonna be a good song**

**{Dowoon}**

**"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!"**

**{Brian}**

**"You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop now. You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop now."**

**{Dowoon}**

**"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!"**

**{Wonpil}**

**"It's dangerous. Starting from your eyes, you seem so risky."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Starting from your gestures, it's so different. It's dangerous."**

**{Brian + Jae}**

**"Everyone tries to stop me (but I can't). I just can't. It's too late to stop. They tell me not to go (but I can't). My body is already. Not listening."**

**{Jae}**

**"Without even knowing, I've fallen so deep into you."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Even though it clearly states, "Don't cross this line" I can't take it."**

**{Brian}**

**"No matter who tells me, to never cross it. I've already stepped over it."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I know the ending is obvious. I know I can't handle you."**

**{Jae}**

**"But gotta go go go go go go go. Gotta go over the line. Tonight."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"Whenever they tell me not to do something, it makes me wanna do it more."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"But when they say don't do it. There's always a reason."**

**{Brian + Jae}**

**"Everyone tries to stop me (but I can't). I just can't. It's too late to stop. They tell me not to go (but I can't). My body is already. Not listening."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Even though it clearly states, "Don't cross this line" I can't take it."**

**{Brian}**

**"No matter who tells me, to never cross it. I've already stepped over it."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I know the ending is obvious. I know I can't handle you."**

**{Jae}**

**"But gotta go go go go go go go. Gotta go over the line. Tonight tonight."**

**{Dowoon}**

**"WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!"**

**{Jae}**

**"Without even knowing, I've fallen so deep into you."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"Even though it clearly states, "Don't cross this line" I can't take it."**

**{Brian}**

**"No matter who tells me, to never cross it. I've already stepped over it."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I know the ending is obvious. I know I can't handle you."**

**{Jae}**

**"But gotta go go go go go go go. Gotta go over the line. Tonight tonight."**

**{Brian}**

**"You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop now. You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop now. You gotta stop. You gotta stop. You gotta stop now."**

**I hear people cheering all around me, and screaming, and oh my god, I thought my ears were gonna burst, as well as my heart. I can see why Jae wanted us to stand up now, cause holy shit, that song is something you have to stand up for!**

**"Wow you guys are so full of energy!" Jae exclaims and everyone screams, and so do I "But, with this song we're gonna take it a little slow, so now if you guys have a phone, pull them out and turn on your flashlight, cause this is gonna get mellow with, "When You Love Someone", hope you guys enjoy." Jae says and we all pull out our phones, and we turned on our flashlights as we heard the first line starting to be sang**

**{Jae}**

**"It was a really hard day today. My heart aches for you. The only thing I can do for you, is to be next to you, I'm sorry."**

**{Brian}**

**"You're so pretty when you smile. So every time you lose that smile, even if I have to give my all. I want to give it back to you."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I want to cry for you. I want to hurt instead of you. I don't want any scars in your heart, ever again."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"When you love someone, so much that it overflows. It's so amazing, because this is how it is."**

**{Jae}**

**"I hope I can be a little helpful at least. I hope I can be your resting place. I'll try to make you feel at peace. Whenever you think of me during your busy days."**

**{Brian}**

**"You're such a soft-hearted person. Every time you are silently in pain, even if I have to give my all, I want to make you smile again."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I want to cry for you. I want to hurt instead of you. I don't want any scars in your heart, ever again."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"When you love someone, so much that it overflows. It's so amazing, because this is how it is."**

**{Jae}**

**"This is a song for you. Oh, I'm singing for you."**

**{Brian}**

**"This is a song for you. Oh, I'm singing for you. I'll give you my everything."**

**{Wonpil}**

**"I want to cry for you. I want to hurt instead of you. I don't want any scars in your heart, ever again."**

**{Sungjin}**

**"When you love someone, so much that it overflows. It's so amazing, because this is how it is."**

**Wow uh, that was something. I know when Jae said mellow, I didn't know he meant mellow like that. I then feel someone tap me on my shoulder, and I saw it was Jungkook**

**"Hey, Jimin says, we need to go right now." He told me but I look back at the boys and then back at Jungkook**

**"Uh, I'm supposed to meet up with Jae and the rest." I say to him, and he nods and smiles**

**"Yeah, okay." He told me and he then walked off, and I smile softly as I look back over at the boys and I smile more... even though I'm with Jungkook now, I still feel really weird with Jae... but I don't know what to do about it. It's just everytime I see him and Adrian hanging out I feel very jealous, and everytime I'm with him, I feel my heart start racing and my face start turning red- okay, you want to know the truth? I'm still in love with Jae.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 12!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!**

**{RAELEE}**

 


	13. 13: I hate me now. I hate myself for being like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jina, might just feel like she is starting to feel alone

 

 

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

***OKAY FIRST PART IS A LITTLE WEIRD***

**"No, I'm not doing it!" Jae exclaims as me, and the rest of us were hanging out... just like old times, before Jae got a girlfriend, and before me and Jae broke up.**

**"Come on, Jae." I say and he groans and shook his head,**

**"Just do it, so Jina, will stop whining." Yuri says and I look at her and scoff, and then I look back over at Jae, and I gave him the best puppy dog eye look, I can muster, and he groaned**

**"Ah! Fine, only if you shut up about it." He told me and I smile and he then did the aegyo and he then cringed and I just smile**

**"Aigoo! So cute!" I exclaim with a really fake Korean accent and Jae cringed again**

**"Never do that accent again." He told me and I roll my eyes**

**"Okay, fine then negative nancy." I say to him and he rolled his eyes, and I laugh, and I then threw a fry at him and it got him right in the face, and I laugh, and so does everyone, as Jae looks down at the table embarrassed, and I then hear my phone buzz, and I grab it from my back pocket and I saw it was from Jungkook**

**'Jungkookie: Hey, I need your help with some math homework?'**

**'Ji: Do I look like your tutor? Besides, I'm hanging out with my friends.' I text back and I turned my phone off and I put it back in my pocket**

**"Jina, if that was Jungkook texting you, you should probably just go and see what he wants." Jae told me and I was taken aback, jeez what crawled up his ass today?**

**"Yeah, you should probably just go." Nevaeh says, okay what the hell is happening?**

**"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" I ask and then like in a flash they all disappeared... even Jae 'What the hell?' I thought**

**"They're all gone, you know." I hear someone say and I turn around and I saw it was my eomma, and I was shocked**

**"Eomma?" I ask softly**

**"Don't 'Eomma' me, you little disgrace." She said through her gritted teeth and I felt tears well up in my eyes "They all left, and it's all your fault!" She exclaimed and I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I shake my head, 'It can't be my fault.' I thought "It's your fault, now wake up!" She yelled, and then out of nowhere, my eyes flew open, and I sat up and I sighed 'Ugh I hate nightmares.' I thought, I look over and I saw the time said '5:56 A.M.' on the clock. 'I have class today.' I thought, and I look over to see Jae sleeping silently and I sigh and I get up from my bed and I walk over to him and I bent down to him, and I look at his sleeping face and it was so beautiful, and I sigh softly, and I raised my pointer finger and I pressed my finger tip against his nose, and to my surprise he didn't wake up and I grin a little "I still love you." I whisper and I then get up, and I decided to take a shower, cause that dream made me feel really disgusting inside.**

**\----------------**

**"Ugh, everything hurts." I hear Jae complain and I look over at him**

**"Maybe cause you slept in one spot all night." I say to him and he rolled his eyes**

**"Shut up, Ji." He tells me and I tense up a little, cause he said it so bitter and it literally put a hole in my heart.**

**"Ugh, everything hurts." I hear Jae complain, and I look over at him**

**"Maybe cause you slept in one spot all night." I say to him, and he rolled his eyes**

**"Shut up, Ji." He tells me and I tense up a little, cause he said it so bitter and it literally put a hole in my heart. 'Is he starting to hate me?' I thought, I really hope not, because I can't live with him hating me. If it was someone else, I wouldn't really care much, but this is Jae... my best friend, my other half, my soul, my world. If he hates me, then I don't really know what to do with myself then. As Jae was walking ahead of me, I stayed back a little, and I trudged slightly behind him... ugh I hate being sensitive... I mean I shouldn't care, but I just do, because I care about people, even though no one cares about me.**

**Jae's P.O.V**

**As I turn around I see Jina, trudging behind me, with her head down slightly, and I frown, 'What's wrong with her?' I thought, what put her in that mood? Was it me? I really hope to god it wasn't me. Ah, dammit, it probably was me! I can't stop hurting her can I? I mean, all I've done for these past 3 weeks - no no, for these past 15 years is hurt her. Hell, I'm the main reason why she has this phobia of her's... ugh I want to let her go, and stop hurting her, but if I do that, I'm just hurting her more, I don't know what to do.**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**I was just standing by the kitchen counter, bracing myself for support, as I felt myself getting dizzy... ugh I hate when I do this to myself. I mean, I literally freak out, about this stupidest things and then I make myself sick. I just feel like that dream is gonna become real, and I can't let that happen. I can't be alone. I don't wanna be alone. Oh, great, I might just got a new phobia to worry about... Autophobia... the fear of being alone.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."** **  
**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 13!!!**

**Short chapter!!!!**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!**

**{Raelee}**

 

 

 

 


	14. 14:  For feeling so comfortable, when I'm away from you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has their own dirty little secrets.

**INTRO: HOW CAN I SAY**

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina’s P.O.V**

**“How the hell, are you almost failing one of your classes?” Nevaeh asked me and I sigh as I took a sip of my coffee**

**“I’ve got a lot on my mind, okay, and it’s stressing me out.” I say to her, talking about me stressing out about having a potential second phobia… ugh I just don’t want to look more fucked up than I already am. ‘Why can’t I ever just catch a fucking break?’ I thought to myself, life is always out to get me, whether I do anything or not, it’s just life is always against me, and I really don’t know what I did to deserve this type of cruel treatment. Maybe just existing. Yeah, that’s it. It’s me just existing that is making life not go the way I want it.**

**“Ji, you know you could talk to us when you feel like this.” She told me and I sigh**

**“Yeah, but you guys are all doing different things, and so busy that I really don’t know who to go to anymore.” I confessed, this is true, because I feel like I can’t go to anyone at this is exact moment right now**

**“Yeah, I feel like all of us are drifting apart,” She says and I exhale softly “Hey, you remember that promise we made in like the 8th or 9th grade?” She asked me and I chuckle**

**“How can I forget?” I ask her as I thought about the promise we all made**

**FLASHACK:**

**It was our last free day, as 8th graders, which means that we will be like 9th graders in just under 12 hours, and to be honest that scares me to pieces. Because, I really don’t what might happen while we are in highschool… I mean how the hell are you supposed to know?**

**“Guys, what would you do, if we have a fallout, in highschool?” Jae asked as he had his eyes up on the stars above us, and I look over at him**

**“We won’t ever have to worry, because that is never gonna happen, you know that.” I say to Jae, while playing with his fingers slightly, and Nevaeh sighed**

**“Ji, you actually don’t know that.” She told me and I look over at her**

**“Yeah, maybe I don’t know, but I do know that we will always go to each other for anything and everything.” I say and they all nod**

**“Yeah, but we should totally make a promise on that.” Brian says and we look at him “So we don’t ever forget it or break it.” He continued and we nodded, so we all sat up from the cold grass below us, and we all sat in a circle, and we intertwined our pinkies together, as a way that we are promising this for the rest of our lives**

**“But, if we go to college, will we have fallout then?” Dowoon spoke up after a couple of minutes of silence and we look at him with sad eyes, because he sounded so genuine and gentle**

**“That will never happen.” Sungjin says and I nodded**

**“We promise you on that.” Wonpil says and I smile, and I then rested my head on Jae’s shoulder and I sigh**

**“So, do we promise that will never have fallout in highschool or college?” Nevaeh asked and we nodded**

**“We promise.” We all (minus Neveah) said**

**FLASHBACK OVER:**

**Some promise that was. We are doing the exact thing that Dowoon didn’t want to happen, because we are kinda selfish human beings, that don’t go to each other for help when needed, because like I said we are very selfish. I guess that promise is broken… like our friendship, because we barely hang out anymore… only when to go to gigs… which is pretty damn sad, if I do say so myself.**

**“Ji, are you with me?” I was broke out of my thoughts by Nevaeh snapping her fingers in my face, which kinda annoyed me, but I was really zoned out**

**“Y-yeah, I’m here.” I say to her with a slight stutter in my voice**

**“Are you okay? You kinda spaced out on me.” She says and I nodded**

**“Yeah, like I said, I have a lot on my mind. Speaking of which, I actually need to go at this moment.” I say to her and she was confused when I just bolted up and I ran away from her, I’m only running away because I need to figure things out.**

**At a doctor.**

**\-------------------------**

**“So, what’s going on with you?” The doctor asked me and I sigh, how the hell am I gonna explain this?**

**“Well, these past couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling jumpy, zoning out a lot, my palms get all sweaty, and it feels like my chest is about to explode.” I say to him, as he was writing down notes**

**“Hmmm, have you been hanging out with anyone to make you feel this way?” He asked and I sigh**

**“That’s the thing, when I’m not with them, I feel those symptoms.” I say to him and he sighs softly and he thought about it a little bit**

**“I will, call you back in a couple of weeks, so we can figure out what’s wrong.” He told me and I grew a little mad, because I know, I know what’s wrong with me, but doctors don’t ugh, I hate doctors!**

**“Okay.” I mutter, and I then walk out of the room, while mumbling “Fucking doctors.” and I walk out of the doctors office, and I got into my car and I drive away from the doctors office.**

**\----------------------**

**Nevaeh’s P.O.V**

**I was just waiting for Jina, to just come back, so we can finish our conversation, because she just walked out in the middle of our conversation. I then hear a knock on my door, and I look over wondering, who the hell can be at the door, and I sigh and I went over to the door, open it, and I saw it was Dowoon, but with cuts and bruises on his face, and I gasp**

**“Dowoon, what the hell happened?” I ask him and he looked down at the ground and he sighed shakily**

**“You guys lied.” He told me and I was confused on what he meant. What the hell did he mean when he said ‘you guys lied’?**

**“What?” I ask him and he looked up at me with tears rolling down his face, but he still held his strong expression**

**“You said, that we will always be with each other through anything and everything, but where were you?” He asked and I just felt something in my stomach just sank**

**“D-Dowoon-” I stutter**

**“Where were you?!” He yelled and then he grabbed something and he threw it and it hit the wall behind me and I felt myself tense up… this is the first time, that I’ve been this scared. He then walked away from me, and he just left me there standing there… frozen and scared**

**“I-I’m sorry.” I say as I fell to my knees, and tears ran down my face**

**Yuri’s P.O.V**

**“Shit, shit, shit, shit.” I mutter, as I held the white stick in my hands, looking at the positive sign on it. This can’t be happening to me can it? Why did it have to be me? Just why? I’m still in college, I can’t be pregnant! It’s probably a faulty test, right? Right? I mean, it has to be. But, what if it’s not, what if I’m actually pregnant? “Oh my god, I’m so fucking screwed.” I whisper to myself, what the hell am I gonna tell Sungjin? Holy shit, he’s gonna kill me!**

**Wendy’s P.O.V**

**I held the cigarette close to my lips, as I lit it up with my sisters lighter, Alec is so gonna kill me, but I really don’t care at this moment. I breathe in the smoke, and I let it drag out… everything is so fucked, and no one is really doing anything about it, that’s the good thing about having secrets. The good thing about being alone. No one, can see you at your worst, when they always see you at your best. You get to kill yourself slowly and slowly, with your secret keeping… until it finally boils over and everyone hates you for it. That’s how it is, and that’s how it’s always gonna be. No matter how you try to change it. It’s gonna be the same. No point and trying to change how life works.**

**OUTRO: I’LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 14!!!!!**

**Well all these guys are gonna have their secrets haha!!**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!!**

**{RAELEE}**


	15. 15: Hate me now. I wish you would figure it out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is tired of their own little secrets.

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**1 WEEK LATER:**

**It's like everything is falling apart. No one has spoken to each other in a week. No one. And I mean no one. Even me and Jae, and we're roommates for fuck's sake! That's how bad this shit is getting. I feel like everyone has their own secrets that they will like to share. I was walking out of the bathroom, and I bump into Jae, and it was pretty damn awkward. We didn't say anything to each other, instead we just walked past each other, as he went to the bathroom, and I was grabbing my bag, and walking out the door. I really can't look at him right now. I mean, I feel like all of us can't really look at each other.**

**\----------------------**

**Nevaeh's P.O.V**

**I was holding my books close to my chest, and my head looking down at the ground, as I was walking very timidly. Everything makes me jumpy now, after what my encounter with Dowoon last week. And, I mean everything! If people just talk to me, I nearly jump out of my skin. Ugh, I hate how not being with my friends made me like this. A fucking scared mouse. That's how I feel. Like a fucking mouse. Getting scared at every little thing. As I was walking to my class, I felt someone bump into, and that made me drop most of my books 'Shit.' I thought, and I looked up to see my boyfriend, Brian. 'Oh my fucking god.' I thought, we look at each other for a couple of seconds, but then I was snapped out of my thoughts, as I bent down to pick up my books, and once I picked them up, I was about to walk off, but I felt a hand go on my arm, and I tense up a little 'God, this sucks.' I thought**

**"Nev, wait-" But I cut him off**

**"Brian, don't touch me right now." I say as he I shook his hand off of me, and I walk away from him, well that was pretty damn depressing. I can't even talk to my boyfriend right... wow.**

**\-------------------------**

**Jungkook's P.O.V**

**"Are you sure there's nothing going on with Jina?" I ask Jimin as he was typing an essay for English and he looked at me and sighed**

**"Jungkook, she's fine, there is a thing that she has, and it's called space, she'll come to you when she's ready." He told me and I nodded slightly, but I really didn't believe it, because I'm that type of boyfriend, who gets worried, if the girl doesn't talk to you in like 2 days. I'm just worried about her. Actually, I'm worried about her friends too, because I haven't even seen them hanging out with each other, for like 2-3 weeks, and to be honest everything seems gloomy.**

**"Jimin, I'm gonna go, and hang out with Taehyung." I say and he nods not looking at me, as he was so immersed into his essay, and I sigh as I got up from my spot, and I walk out of the dorm room, and I walk out of the dorm and I saw how gloomy it was outside, and I saw a few drops of water come down and I sigh... wow, even the universe can't handle this.**

**\------------------------**

**Jina's P.O.V**

**"Shit, I should've brought an umbrella." I say as I was walking to the coffee shop... in the rain. But, it's a good thing, I wore boots, instead of my regular shoes. But, it's not a good thing, I've got the biggest migraine in the whole world at this moment. And this rain is not helping... not one fucking bit! It's actually making it worse. As I was walking to the coffee shop, I saw one of my coworkers walking out of the building "Eric!" I exclaim and he looks over at me and smiles**

**"Jina, I didn't expect to see you here." He told me and I chuckled softly**

**"Aren't we supposed to work today?" I asked him and he looked at me confused**

**"Jina, it's exam week, everyone's at the library." He told me and I was shocked, because I totally forgot about exam week, and oh my god, the time flies by fast.**

**"Shit, I-I totally forgot about that." I say and he smiled and patted my damp head, which totally irritated my migraine, and it made me wince slightly**

**"Ji, are you okay?" He asked me and I clear my throat**

**"Yeah, just got a bad headache." I say to him and he widens his eyes**

**"Ji, you should go back to your dorm, and get some rest, can't have you being sick before your exams." He told me and I sigh and I nodded**

**"Okay, I'll uh, I'll go back to my dorm." I say to him and he smiled and nodded**

**"Okay, be sure to take some medicine, and sleep the headache off." He told me and I nodded and we then parted ways and I started walking back to my dorm room... hoping that Jae or Adrian are not there... I hope to god not.**

**\-------------------**

**Jae's P.O.V**

**I was hanging out with Adrian, at the library, cause it was exam week, and everyone has to get their studying crammed in and try to pass the exam. As I was just listening to my music, while studying, I felt my chest suddenly get tight, and it was kinda hard to breathe, and I don't know why this happening. I then hear laughing and giggling, I then look over to see... Jina and me? It looks like we are young, like maybe elementary school, I don't know.**

**_"Jae, do you promise that we'll be best friends forever?"_ ** **Little Jina asked and I felt it more difficult to breathe, I felt someone shaking my arm, but I just couldn't snap out of it**

**_"Of course, Jina."_ ** **Little me says to her, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes, as I saw our little selves went to hug each other, but the sad thing is that they disappeared before they got a chance to**

**"Jae!" I finally hear the voice break me out of what the hell that was, and I look up to see Jungkook looking at me... actually everyone is looking at me 'Oh god.' I thought, I disrupted the whole library "Jae, come with me." Jungkook told me, and I look over to see Adrian looking at me with worry in her eyes, and I look over at Jungkook again and I nodded, and I stood up, grabbed my stuff and I followed him "What the hell, is wrong with you guys?" Jungkook asked me, and I was confused**

**"What do you mean?" I ask him and he looked at me**

**"You guys haven't spoken to each other in weeks, and everything looks like it's gone to shit." He told me and I sighed**

**"We have lives too you know, Jungkook? We can't be with each other all the time." I told him and he scoffed**

**"You guys are always with each other. You guys can't even be tore apart, then all of a sudden, you guys stop talking with each other, and Jina stops answering my texts and calls." He says and I roll my eyes**

**"Jungkook, leave me alone, about this, I'm pretty sure Jina, and the rest are fine, going without each other, won't hurt." I say to him even though I was lying to him... and myself**

**"You're full of shit, you know that?" He asked me and then walked off and I sighed**

**_"He's right you know?"_ ** **I hear a voice in my head say**

**'You don't know that.'**

**_"He's right and you know it, and it's your fault!"_ **

**'How is it my fault?'**

**_"It's because Jina, is still in your life. Get rid of her and everything will be okay."_ **

**'Will it?'**

**_"Trust me it will."_ **

**'Okay, I will do it in a couple of days' What the hell am I doing?**

**\---------------------**

**Brian's P.O.V**

**I feel like absolute shit right now. My girlfriend is ignoring me for no reason. I haven't good sleep in like 2 weeks, because I get like night terrors and the scary part is that I can remember them, when I'm not supposed to. I feel like I'm gonna throw up all the time. I don't even see my best friends anymore. Ugh, I just hate feeling all alone. I just need sleep. I just need my friends. I need somebody. I felt my hands start to shake, lips start to tremble, and my eyes start to water up... as I was in class 'Shit, shit shit.' I thought**

**"Brian?" I hear the teacher call my name and I look up**

**"Y-yes?" I ask with a stutter, and I grit my teeth together, because I stuttered 'Why did you stutter idiot?' I thought**

**"You can go now." He told me and I saw that no one was in the room anymore**

**"Oh uh o-okay." I say and I stood up and I went to walk away from my desk, but my knees just give out and I fell to the ground 'Crap.' I thought**

**"Brian!" My professor exclaims and he went over to me and he helped me up and I sigh softly as I felt my eyes slowly closing and opening "Are you okay?" He asked me as he helped me up and I just shook my head**

**"Not really." I say to him**

**"When is the last time you got sleep kid? I mean you got eye bags, your cheeks look sunken in, and you look like you lost a ton a weight." He told me and I sighed, I didn't know it was that bad**

**"It's- It's been a while." I say to him and he sighed**

**"Get some sleep, Brian, it's not healthy for you to look like this. I also noticed you're grades are dropping. You used to be one of my hardworking students, always smiling and laughing, but now you've gone quiet and not turning in work. I'm worried about you Brian," He says and I sighed softly, as I felt the tears well up in my eyes**

**"I'll uh I'll work harder." I say and I grabbed my stuff and I walked away from him, as he was calling my name, but I couldn't respond to him, because it felt like I wasn't in control of my body, my legs were just taking me to wherever it is, I want to go... like uh like my dorm room. Maybe sleeping pills will help me finally sleep.**

**\--------------------**

**Wonpil's P.O.V**

**I think Nathalie, just stopped talking to me for no apparent reason. I mean I think all of us stopped talking. I don't even know what happened. I don't know how we got to this point. I mean, yeah friends fight and stuff like that, but to the point of losing all contact, is something that worries me. A lot! And, I'm pretty sure my friends are as miserable as am I right now. Because you wanna know something? My sleep paralysis is back. And it is worse. Yeah, I used to suffer from sleep paralysis, when I was younger and I was on some medication, but I stopped taking it a couple years ago, because everything was fine, and I was sleeping really fine, but as me and my friends just randomly stopped talking to each other, it came back, and it is more scarier than it was before. When I was younger, I usually would just let it play out and wait for myself to wake up, but this time, I literally have to force myself awake, which means I literally have to scream myself awake. It such a scary experience that I really don't want to experience it again. I just want my mom, I want my friends... I want Nathalie. I just want someone... anyone, hell a total stranger for all I care. I just want somebody.**

**OUTRO: I'LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here's chapter 15!!!!**

**Okay just to say... I don't know how I got down this road haha!!**

**So obviously this book is gonna be dealing with more sensitive topics... well more topics that I haven't dived into yet sooo I hope I got some stuff right... probably didn't but eh.. Haha**

**DON'T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!**

**{RAELEE}**


	16. 16: Don't show me a smile. With those endlessly clear eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything turns itself upside down and gets hard to deal with.

 

  

**"How can I say it?"**

**Park Jina**

**"I can't bear to tell you"**

**Jae Park**

**"That my heart has already left. Oh how can I say?"**

**Park Jamie**

**Jina’s P.O.V**

**NEXT DAY:**

**As I woke up, and I saw it was the next day… my migraine was still there, and I was starving and thirsty, and I smell like crap, because I was sweating, and having nightmares. Ugh, this sucks ass. I get up from my bed, and I literally felt like I was gonna fall over, because I haven’t ate anything since yesterday morning, and that is kinda not healthy to do. I was walking over to the fridge, I felt my legs shaking as I was walking, ugh this is killing me. I grab myself a banana from the counter that was near the fridge, I peel it really quickly, so I can eat it without falling over, and once I took a bite, I instantly start to feel better ‘Oh my god, I can’t take this.’ I thought and I once I finished the banana, I threw the peel away, and I grabbed some clothes, and I went to the shower, and once the water got hot enough, I stepped in, and I let the water hit my skin, and I sighed**

**“I can get through today.” I say, but haha my migraine was like ‘Fuck you’ and it instantly got worse… and it gotten to the point where I was gonna fall over, it was hurting me that bad. God, this is gonna be fun. I feel like these migraines are all just stress related migraines, and I feel like I need to just calm down and not let myself be stressed, but it’s not that easy to just calm yourself down when all your life you been stressing yourself out.**

**\---------------------**

**TRIGGER WARNING:**

**Sungjin’s P.O.V**

**Depression. Noun.** **Feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Synonyms, misery, sadness, sorrow, woe, unhappiness, gloominess. Depression, is usually caused by stress, anxiety, alcohol, drugs, abuse, whatever that’s usually very stressful. People take pills to make themselves happy. They call those antidepressants. And, that’s what I’m taking right now. They officially just diagnosed with Depression, a couple of weeks ago, and they gave me antidepressants, to make me happy, but it’s not working, it’s just making me more depressed. Antidepressants, are supposed to help with the pain, but it’s only making the pain worse. I’ve always been kinda depressed, but it’s never been bad enough where I need to take pills for them, and it’s never been bad enough where I have to wear bandages on my arms… heh whoops, was I not supposed to say anything? Yeah, I’ve basically turned into Jina- wait shit, that’s messed up, I shouldn’t say that, because Jina’s problems are more important than mine. Her problems are always more important than mine. She’s had it tough all her life, and saying that I’ve basically became her when I got scars on myself, is screwed up. Ugh, everything is fallen apart with us, I haven’t even seen Yuri in a few weeks, and I’ve been basically ignoring her for the past few weeks, and ugh I’m such a bad boyfriend. Depression’s not easy to deal with especially when you have no one to help you… I just want my friends- wait I don’t just want my friends… I need my friends.**

**\-----------------------**

**Jina’s P.O.V**

**I was walking out of my class, and to the cafeteria because I was starving, and I was walking, I bumped into someone, and I saw it was Brian. And let me tell you, he looked terrible. He had eye bags around his eyes, making it look like he didn’t get enough sleep, and his cheeks look sunken in, and he looks like he lost weight.**

**“S-sorry, Jina.” He whispered with a stuttery voice and I was confused, because Brian never stutters, and it makes me wonder what is actually wrong with him**

**“Brian what’s wrong?” I ask him and he looked down so I couldn’t look at him “Brian.” I groan and I raised his face so I could get a good look at him, and it looks like he has no soul in his eyes. “Oh my god, Brian, when was the last time you had sleep?” I ask and he turned his head away from me**

**“I don’t know.” He answered and I widened my eyes “But, Jina, don’t help me, I don’t want your help.” He answered me and he then shook himself out of my grip, and walked away from me ‘What the hell was that about? Why doesn’t Brian want me to help him? And when the hell was the last time he gotten any sleep?’ I thought and I then I felt a rush of pain went up to my head and I grab my head and I clench my eyes shut, oh my god, this hurts so bad, but I must push through it!**

**\--------------------**

**Nathalie’s P.O.V**

**I’ve never been a person who gets really anxious about anything. I’ve always been calm and collected, well until me and my friends had a little fallout, that I really don’t know how it started. I don’t even see Wonpil anymore, and that makes me really worried. I had my first anxiety attack… two days ago, because I wasn’t with my friends. I’ve had like 3-4 anxiety attacks, in these past two days. I went to the doctors and he gave me some antidepressants, but I saw someone who I thought I wouldn’t see at a doctors office… Sungjin.**

**FLASHBACK:**

**I thank the doctor my pills, and as I was walking out of the office, I see someone that I thought I would never see here… Sungjin. ‘What the hell, is he doing here?’ I thought**

**“Sungjin?” I ask and he looked over with wide eyes and he then starts walking away from me, like really fast, and I start running after him “Sungjin!” I yell and he keeps running, and I then felt my chest start to tighten up and I then fell to the ground slightly, as my breathing starts to speed up, and then I look up to see Sungjin looking at me with a confused look on his face**

**“Nathalie, are you okay?” He asked me and I then felt my breathing slow down a little**

**“Sungjin, why were you at the doctor's office?” I ask him as he helps me up off the ground**

**“Oh uh, I was getting some antidepressants.” He mumbled and I was confused ‘Why would he need antidepressants?’ I thought… wait is he depressed?**

**“Sungjin, are you depressed?” I ask and he tensed up a little**

**“I uh I’ll see you later, Nathalie.” He says and he ran off and I was pretty shocked that Sungjin, is depressed.**

**FLASHBACK OVER:**

**Sungjin’s depressed. I just can’t believe that. I wonder if he’s talked to Yuri about it. I hope he has. I mean, I really need to talk to Yuri myself, but I’m pretty sure she won’t talk to me… or pretty much anyone.**

**\-------------------------**

**Dowoon’s P.O.V**

**Am I really that bad of a person? I mean, I scared Nevaeh half to death, just because I was being a brat and made them promise that we wouldn’t fallout in high school or college. God, I’m really that selfish, am I? Maybe, it’s a good thing that I’ve being beaten up by people. I don’t know what I did, to make these boys just start beating me up, but I did it. Maybe, it’s because they’re jealous of me and my friends, or maybe they just hate me. I don’t know. But, I don't want to feel like this anymore, I just want someone to care for me, I just want someone to care… like Wendy or Jina, or someone, I don’t know and I don’t really care, I just need someone!**

**\-----------------------**

**Jae’s P.O.V**

**I was with Adrian, and I was telling her this story when I was with Jina, and it was making her laugh a lot, and her laugh is kinda annoying… I don’t know, I mean whenever Jina laughs, it was like music to my ears, and I wanted to do everything to make her laugh, but with Adrian it sounds really fake, and really forced, and I don’t like it.**

**“So, when I accidentally hit her, Jimin looked over at me like ‘I’m gonna kill you.’” I say and Adrian laughed more and I just stayed silent… oh how I wish I was with Jina at this moment.**

**_“Remember Jae, the next time you see Jina, you have to let her go.”_ **

**‘I know, but I think I can’t do it.’**

**_“Jae, quit hurting yourself, just let her go, because then everything will be fine.”_ **

**‘Maybe you’re right.’**

**_“Of course I’m right”_ **

**‘Okay, okay. I’ll do it tomorrow.’ Oh my god, I’m so in over my head here.**

**OUTRO: I’LL REMEMBER**

**"The moments you gave to me. They were so precious. I'll remember. Just the fact, that we were together. I'll leave it in a deep part, of a corner of my heart. (I'll remember)."**

**A/N**

**Here’s chapter 16!!!!!!**

**This story might go on hiatus… again haha, I will post the next chapter, and then it will go on hiatus, until April 11th, which will be spring break**

**Cuz I need to finish the Waste It On Me series haha**

**DON’T BE A SILENT READER, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!**

**{RAELEE}**


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